I can remember sitting in Sunday school and talking about missionaries. I can’t remember if it was junior high or high school. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but what I do remember is that it was discussed that you had to be called to be a missionary. I remember thinking, “How will I know?” I remember praying “God, I want to be a missionary?” Did I know then what I praying? It wasn’t until last week that this image came back to me.
I can remember another time when I said, “God send me, use me, reach others for your glory through me.” Again I don’t think I knew what I was praying. God hears our prayers and he knows the deepest desires of our hearts, he answers them in his perfect timing. I often joke you better be careful what you pray for.
I have wanted to go on the world race for years now, but time and time again I would find myself at a place saying, “Now is not the right time.” I would pray, “Lord let me get pink slipped so I have an excuse to do missions.” At the end of the day, God wanted me to say “Yes!” to him on my own. He wanted me to meet him halfway.
People would tell me, “Your job is missionary work.” I know but that really wasn’t cutting it for me. I felt so restless. I kept praying about it.
After a weeklong missions trip in August of 2011, I felt God stirring something in me again. I had been pretending that my heart wasn’t for missions. I felt so alive on the field. I felt God leading me. I found my heart longing for the World Race.
After the trip my project leader told me she was recommending me to AIM to go through the application process to become a project leader myself. I thought, “Okay that’s great, I can do missions all summer and teach during the school year, best of both worlds.” As I started going through that process, it still did not feel right.
I started to pray and fast about it pretty heavily in through the fall and told God I really needed clarity and to be sure. So in December I was at a praise night at church and after we got into groups to pray for each other. I hadn’t really told anyone about this trip. I mean I would indirectly make comments about it. So people were praying over me and someone said, "Leanne I have this image of you, I see you coming out of a mud hut and its raining and you are smiling." As he was walking away he turned and said, "Oh and I see the Sydney Opera House" Do those mean anything to you. It was the confirmation I needed. I applied for the race the next day and took a leap of faith.
People ask me, “Why do you need to go away?” There is a mission in your own backyard. I know there is, but to be honest, I also know my life is pretty pampered, it's comfortable. I am grateful, but I know I need to go away and practice abandonment. I want to seek God everyday. I want to see other cultures and how they live. I want my heart to break for the people in this world and I want to God to use this time to grow me.
