I sent all my stuff home.
Okay, not all of it. Only 7.36kg…about 16 pounds.
Shadrach the backpack (yes, I named my pack) didn’t make the cut for the mail. I gave him away to my contact on our last night of ministry in Vietnam.
You don’t believe me, and at this point, I sound crazy.
(Just me and Ho Chi Minh at the post office!)
Great. We’ve established that I’m crazy.
So let me answer your first few questions real quick:
1. Yes, I still have five more months on the race.
2. No, I’m not going home early. (I’m fully funded to stay!!)
3. Yes, I kept my underwear.
I ditched the backpack, and replaced it with a cute little duffel from Vietnam. It only has room for my sleeping pad, a handful of clothes, toiletries, and tennis shoes. I went from 38 pounds of stuff to 13. Everything else is gone.
So why the heck did I do it?
It’s a recent revelation. Let me tell you about it.
See, at the beginning of February, I wrote this about mourning a lack of “home,” including an oven, a permanent bed, and just a general lack of America. February was a month of denying the comforts of home, including contact with people from home, and instead seeking to allow the Lord to fill me up every day.
I thought it was because I just wanted a challenge. Getting rid of stuff sounded fun. And while most people stressed about packing for the race and fitting all their stuff into one backpack, it’s been easy for me. But passing the halfway point on the race, I figured I’d do a little halfway point mix-up and turn the tables a little bit. So I sent home and gave away over 25 pounds of stuff. Just for fun…right?
Insert Ash. If I haven’t told you about Ash already…well, I should have a long time ago. This gem brings a lot of wisdom and fun and challenge and adventure and just a lot of good things into my life, and I’m very thankful for her.
And during this particular conversation we had, the morning I sent my stuff home, Ash said “it’s funny that you sent all your stuff home now, when Jesus spent the month teaching you about being present and denying material comforts in pursuit of more of Him.”
Whoop, there it is. And suddenly, all the reasons I had to ditch my stuff paled in comparison to the real reason: I got ride of my stuff as a physical declaration that I want to fully pursue what the Lord has for me on the rest of this race, instead of clenching my fists and my heart around the things I own. I didn’t know it until Ash mentioned it, but now it’s the only thing that makes sense. I needed to physically declare that I’m all in. There’s no going back.
I still have four and a half more months on this race, and I have no idea what’s going to happen. All I know is that God is good and I’m going to finish this race, crossing the finish line into America with the love for a thousand people in my heart, and just one small duffel in my hands.
