5. The number of months I have before I launch on the World Race, Route 1, All Asia!
4. The number of times God told me to do the World Race before I listened and applied.
3. The number of posts I started writing today, before I accepted the fact that I’m meant to write this one.
2. The number of ideas I’ve had for how to raise $16,000. Help.
1. The number of freak outs I have every day because THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
GO? Umm…yeah…I’m not ready.
Jesus said GO. I turned around and said I’ll go…but I’ll first spend 6 months inwardly denying that I’m going. I’ll write blog posts about myself and make a Facebook group and send letters, but inside I’ll keep telling myself it’s just a possibility. It might not actually happen. And then it’ll be training camp, and I’ll accept the fact that I’m going, and then go back to pretending it’s not happening until I have my plane tickets and visas and I’m on a plane.
See, it’s happened before. Last year at this time, I was planning a giant adventure to India. It was going to be three months long. I was going to backpack, and meet Indian people in the Himalayas, and have the time of my life. And I would end it with a month in Thailand with my brother. I had all the plans. The tickets. The gear. I thought Jesus said GO.
Two days before I was supposed to leave I got a call saying my visa application had been denied. It felt like Satan was laughing at me. It felt like I failed. My plans changed, and I spent those three months in Baja instead. Sure, those months were great, and I learned a ton. I don’t regret anything. But I felt like if I had done something different, I would have been in India.
I felt like I let everyone down. My parents, who graciously felt the burdens of all the costs, even when the plane tickets were non-refundable. My friends, who had all told me how excited and jealous they were than I was going to India. God, who I was so confident had told me India was where I was supposed to be. Did I not hear him right? Did he make my visa not go through, while shaking his head and saying “well, this is the way I have to do it because you didn’t listen to me the first time”?
I thought God hated me. I thought he was disappointed that I didn’t hear him right. I prayed over and over, asking what was going on. Why all my plans were foiled like this. And what did I hear? GO. Where? “To Mexico.” And then, in February, “on the World Race.”
Through my World Race application, God told me He loves me. Through the interviews and getting accepted, God told me that nothing I do will make Him love me less. That He changed my plans not because of something I did wrong, but so that I would trust Him more.
This is a short summary of what it took me 6 months to realize. God has a plan. And sometimes, His plan is so wildly different than ours, we can’t even imagine how it’s going to turn out. I had no idea I’d end up in Mexico. I had no idea I’d end up on the World Race. But whether it’s 2 days or 5 months beforehand, God has told me to GO.
This is a big thing. I’m raising $16,000. I’m jetting off around the world for almost an entire year. But friends, this is not a fun trip that I’m taking because I think it’ll be great for my future. This is not a sightseeing trip to 11 countries. This is me, surrendering myself to serve the Lord I love wholeheartedly, and to seek Him around the world. I’ve prayed, and God has told me to GO.
I’m going. This is definite. Thank you Lord, for making it clear. In my journey, would you join me? Maybe God is telling you to go too…but not physically. See, I need people to join me in this, financially and prayerfully. Would you consider it? Join me in trusting the Lord. In seeking His provision and His goodness. Because in one way or another, God is telling us all to GO.
