You know when you watch a romantic comedy and you feel so full of joy and hopeful? And you know the moment when you realize that life isn’t like that and it was never meant to be like that? Well if you hadn’t realized it… sorry.
Going through our ATL month (Ask the Lord) it took us some time to stop watching romantic comedies. It took even more time and effort to expel the lies crowding our minds.
Let’s get the basics: ATL is a month without a ministry contact and without a set ministry site. The only ministry is following Holy Spirit. Nothing more, nothing less.
This blog is intended to help you ATL wherever you are. Enjoy this step-by-step guide with examples, stories and insight from the field!
Step 1. Commit
My team (Dar Vida) and I committed to seeking Holy Spirit in every decision. (Example) Ryan and I both felt Holy Spirit telling us to leave Granada in three days, and so we did. No plan. No place to go. No transportation.
Step 2. Be obedient
If you’ve never ATL’d before, it can be a little tricky. Uncertainty, confusion, concern. Holy Spirit is not always going to give you all the information. Sometimes, He just wants you to be obedient. And then He gives you the next clue.
Step 3. Give grace.
When you’re not used to listening or allowing Holy Spirit to decide each aspect, it can be difficult to know if you’re hearing Him or if it’s just you. This is where it is necessary to commit to giving grace to yourself and your teammates. Everyone should have permission to be wrong as they seek to learn how Holy Spirit speaks to them. And there’s always grace for that because our God does not want us to fear risk or mistake when we seek Him.
Step 4. Take risks
We have a Father who is excited to see His sons and daughters step out in faith just to seek Him and His will. Even when you get it “wrong,” there is no condemnation. You have a Father who is excited to pick you up and get you started again chasing after Him.
Dar Vida and I followed these steps: we committed, prayed, listened, obeyed, gave grace and took risks. Holy Spirit got us from Granada to San Juan Del Sur, gave us a beautiful beach-side hostel, and a gracious owner who came down to our budget. We had seen His goodness. We were ready. We were faithful. We were expectant.
And that’s when we struggled. Ministry wasn’t falling into our laps. Miracles weren’t happening. Revelations were few and far between. In our desperation of Holy Spirit, we decided to make a schedule of Bible Study, prayer and worship to seek Him more. However, the Lord wasn’t in our schedule. He was where we least expected Him to be. He was everywhere. Even in our conversations where we never saw it coming.
One day, we were at a coffee shop for no other reason than to eat, drink and talk. Somehow we got on the topic of dating… and then stalking. Our teammate psychologist, Patrick, explained just how stalking begins. Stalking occurs when one person begins or decides to have expectations of a relationship. For example, a guy might expect his new relationship with his girlfriend to look like what a marriage might look. If the girlfriend doesn’t have those same expectations, he’ll have to seek her out in unhealthy ways to push the relationship in the direction he thinks it should go.
Kind of an odd conversation for racers to have, right? Holy Spirit didn’t think so. We were unknowingly right where He wanted us, discussing the very thing we needed to hear.
You see, we had been stalking Holy Spirit. And He is so tired of being stalked. He has so many stalkers in such fruitless pursuits of a relationship that they don’t actually have with Him. Good relationships should take time to cultivate. Seeking Holy Spirit today and expecting a marriage tomorrow is entirely unrealistic. But there’s an even bigger issue in having unrealistic expectations. You miss the beauty of the in between! You miss out on a friendship, on dates, on experiences and conversations and new understandings that get you to the next stage of relationship with Him. You miss beautiful moments that can only be had in the place you are in right now.
It is so important to be content with the here and now. It’s good to desire more of Him, but most of the time you simply need to enjoy the presence of the one you love. Take the time to find the joy, see the purpose, and feel the necessity of where you are with Him right now.
Just as you shouldn’t expect a deep relationship instantly with Holy Spirit (or anyone), you shouldn’t expect the kind of relationship you will have in the future. When you start expecting that then you start cutting off other ways that the relationship could grow. Maybe you expect that your relationship with Holy Spirit should grow toward a new, beautiful language between the two of you. It’s not bad to want that. But if you focus on language and that’s how you have decided the depth of your relationship, you cut off other ways the relationship could grow- visions, whispers, prophecy, so many ways to grow with Him!
The most beautiful relationship with Holy Spirit is the one that He leads.
Step 5. Remove expectation
Take your relationship out of the box. Remove cultural, social and religious expectation. Seek after Him in spirit and in truth so that you can know Him in spirit and in truth.
Step 6. Embrace it
Embrace where you are. Embrace the relationship you have right now with Holy Spirit- whether that’s as an acquaintance or as a lover. Every step is necessary, beautiful and deserves it’s moment to be seen and felt and accepted.
Step 7. Expect more (still pay attention to Step 5!)
Ephesians 3:20 He will do infinitely more than what we would ever dare to ask or even hope.
In all honesty, there really is no formula or guide to asking the Lord. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He never changes. But He does new things. He’s mysterious. He’s unpredictable, but constant.
So these are all the secrets Dar Vida discovered to an Ask the Lord month. The takeaway: stop stalking Him.
