I promised myself that I wouldn’t be one of those people who comes home after being overseas and hates America…
I didn’t want to come back and instantly get caught up in things like the ridiculous amount of money we spend here, or how much the church is really missing it, or how miserable the majority of people are. I knew I wasn’t going to be living here much longer, so I made it one of my goals to look for the good things about America, both big and small, and choose to celebrate them. And for the first few days that was actually really easy…
Real coffee from a real coffee pot, fresh clean clothes, my brother’s laugh upstairs and my mom’s voice on the phone in the other room, a bed and soft sheets and pillows, a warm shower, the fastest internet ever, cereal and milk, dishwashers and dryers, soft carpet under my feet, free toilet paper, traffic lanes and stoplights, seatbelts, free education, ice, a toilet, clean water…
For a little while, the sweetness of finally being home, the excitement that surrounded reunions with friends and family, and the newness of it all, made it easy for me to celebrate this place.
I only had my first real freakout moment when I went with Sarah to walk around the Gaylord Hotel. Its always beautifully decorated for Christmas, but I hadn’t been in years. Walking in, I was instantly overwhelmed by the extravagance of it all. I tried reminding myself to celebrate, but for the first time since being home, I just didn’t want to celebrate…instead I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry when I saw the life-size gingerbread house made completely out of candy. I watched as kids ran inside of it to look around while parents proudly snapped pictures. My mind instantly flashed through the faces of people who don’t even have a house at all…who live on the street or under a tree. But here- here we make houses out of candy.
And then I really did cry when I left the gingerbread house and found myself standing at this tree. Apparently there’s only one more of its kind left in the world, so they decided to pay $250,000 to replicate it and put it on display for everyone to see…$250,000…a plastic tree…I just don’t get it…
But besides my little meltdown at the hotel, America and I have gotten along fairly well…
And then yesterday happened.
That school, all those innocent kids, the teachers, that man, his mom, their whole town, Connecticut, America…
Laying in bed last night, a million thoughts ran through my head, not the least of which was
…God?? …what now?
Because I desperately want to celebrate. Not celebrate like throw a party or gather everyone together to reminisce. But I want to celebrate in the sense that I want to find God here. In this tragedy, in this country, in these moments, I want to be able to see Him.
I think that to celebrate in the midst of pain and brokenness means to find where God is and what He’s doing and join Him.
It means constantly pointing people to Jesus, even though we dont understand the awful tragedy around us, because He is literally the ONLY HOPE we have in this sick and fallen world. Satan wants nothing more than for us to get so distracted by heated debates over gun policies and hating Adam Lanza that we end up missing it.
Yesterday I realized how good it is that God doesn’t call all of his children to leave America and go to the Philippines or to Nepal or to some other third world nation…because right now this country so desperately needs the voice and the truth and the hope that we have as Christians. We need every person living here in America right now who knows the love and grace of God, and believes in His promises, to really live like it. Because the truth is, answering the call and saying yes to Jesus isnt reserved just for missionaries…His call is on us all. That means you.
Love your family, your neighbors, a stranger, your enemy. Forgive the people who hurt you and have grace on those who don’t mean to. Take your eyes off yourself and look for someone who needs to be encouraged. Stop saying you cant even imagine and start really trying. Bearing each others burdens. Mourn with the ones who are mourning. Don’t let petty arguments or hateful thinking consume you…
Magnify hope.
Keep your joy.
Speak up.
Pray.
Find a dark place near you
and lets go bring some Light.
"And may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may about in hope"
Romans 15:13
