Last July, right before I left for the race in August, my family took our little fam vaca to the beach. My aunt, uncle and cousin (sadly missing one cousin) came from Colorado. My brother, sister-in-law and, most importantly, my EG (Ella Grace for those who don’t already know my lil sunshine) were also there and some of their friends came for a short visit. I was glad to spend some time with them before leaving for the race. One of the last nights we had dinner out by the pool and I remember my uncle asking me in so many words, “What would make this trip a successful trip?” As in, what would you truly desire to see happen in these next 11 months to say “Yes, this was worth it!” He told me I didn’t have to answer but just something to think about; and, in that moment, I really didn’t have an answer.
It’s the end of April and I can’t help but start to think about what’s next. I have exactly 2 months until I fly into NYC and as much as I try and fight it, I can’t help but think about my future. So in my thinking/stressing I messaged a few people back home for suggestions or any connections…basically just anything…and I was not surprised by most of my responses. Some people gave suggestions which were helpful, but almost everyone said “Don’t Worry.” Of course, I know that but sometimes its hard not to wonder or worry so it was good to be reminded and confirmed by everyone. But I got a message back from my brother and his last 2 words stuck out the most to me out of all the responses I received: Finish Empty.
One of the first blogs I wrote, probably just before leaving, was one that was inspired also by something my brother told me: Make Much of Christ. That has been an encouragement to me throughout the last 9 months and I’m sure for the next 2. So, it would make since that coming towards the end my brother would give me some more words of wisdom…Finish Empty. Going back to my uncle’s question, I think both those could answer it. I would like to be able to say at the end of this 11 month journey that I made much of Christ and finished empty.
As far as the first I know I have and my team has! We’ve laughed, cried, sweated, hurt, prayed, preached, taught, danced, labored, fought, inspired, questioned, edified, stirred, illuminated, poured, emptied, filled, and so much more…and I know we made much of Christ as best we could. It hasn’t always been pretty, its quite often messy. We’re all a mess. We mess up! But my God is a God of grace and mercy and He continues to lead and we continue to follow! As these next 2 months sit before me, I am fighting to put July on in His hands AND LEAVE IT THERE (that’s the hard part…haha). And I pray that I finish empty. That these next two months I give it all I’ve got. That I empty my cup everyday and let God fill it back up to the same the next day. I pray I fight for myself, I fight for my teammates, I fight for the people of Romania and Moldova. I pray I don’t settle or become complacent but that I remember the very reason God called me on this trip and the fire I had when I started. And like my last team leader, Scott, always says “home is going to be there.” I will be back in Tuscaloosa soon enough and I don’t want to look back and think I could have given more.
