I’m in the airport in Bangkok and wanted to share a quick blog about what God has spoken to me today. Apparently Thailand is known for sex trafficking and within that, a lot of men come here to find women, exceptionally younger women. I don’t know exactly how it all works but regardless, I do know it is heartbreaking. Although I haven’t even stepped outside of the airport during the first half of my 24-hour layover, my eyes have already seen things that have broken my heart. I have seen multiple couple of young Asian girls and old white men holding hands and been very affectionate toward one another. Something inside me has been burdened all day, but it all started with disgust and anger, then tears, then on to a roller coaster of emotions. But the one emotion I couldn’t feel was love, love for these men whom my flesh immediately wanted to judge. But I heard God so clearly tell me these men needed God’s grace and mercy just as much as I do, and they are just as much a victim of Satan’s grip as the girls are…and this was borderline impossible for me to acknowledge. I honestly didn’t know how to fight for the girl with no hope behind her eyes, and even more, I didn’t know how to love as Christ loved a man who I was disgusted by. But who am I to judge? God does know how to fight and how to love, both are His children, both are in need of saving, both need God’s grace and mercy, both need prayer, both. I am aware of my need for a change in my eyes, for God’s eyes but its hard…its hard to feel something for a man in that situation because he is simply looking to fill a void just like I do and you do, even though it is in an extremely socially unacceptable way in my opinion. Once again, who am I to judge…God sees their sin the same. I am certainly not justifying his actions, clearly my puffy eyes would testify to that…but I am learning that what I am and we all are called to do is love with Christ’s love. Love the girl in the way she needs. Love the man in the way he needs. One of my squad leaders encouraged me to see a way of praying for her freedom can be by praying for his freedom. I don’t want to pray for him; I want to pray for her…but what gain could come from lifting him up in prayer as well!!!! And one of my teammates encouraged me to see the spiritual battle. When I see that man, instead of being disgusted by the man, be disgusted by the spiritual war waging on him and disgusted with Satan because that’s the root behind it. We were supposed to be in Thailand this month and as much as I wanted to, after today, I am not sure that I am emotionally ready for it. But I know God has made me aware of these things today in a short period of time during our layover for a reason. I know I need to pray for myself in preparation for the possibility of returning here in one of the upcoming months. Also, realizing how to pray for the girls, and for the men. And, to seek God’s eyes so that if I come back I can come with love, not anger. Many teammates are burdened by this as well but no one seems to have been burdened or some even noticed today like I have and I know that is because there was a purpose in God revealing this to me…I just don’t know exactly why yet. I think this is the first time on the race I’ve been truly broken over something I’ve seen, and not something in my personal walk. I am so thankful that God is breaking my heart for what breaks His and opening my eyes to something He sees, but it hurts! His heart breaks for each young girl. But, His heart also breaks for each old man. I have loved and seen misfortune, but today I was truly broken and moved to tears of pain. I know through the tears and fight there will be growth and joy in the end. Pray for continued discernment and also for strength for what’s to come…but more importantly for each young girl and each man caught in this grasp of the enemy…we together claim FREEDOM & VICTORY over Thailand!
