The one consistent thing that I have heard since training camp is that I need to be more vulnerable. I’m not going to lie; it always kind of irked me whenever someone from my team would say it. I would be like,
“REALLY? I tell you exactly what I am thinking, and I am 100% honest with y’all (that is as long as it doesn’t pertain to my past, my family, my friends, or ME).
“REALLY? I tell you exactly what I am thinking, and I am 100% honest with y’all (that is as long as it doesn’t pertain to my past, my family, my friends, or ME).
See, I think I had always equated my “bold, speak-my-mind” kind of attitude with vulnerability. When in reality it was just something that I used to avoid
being vulnerable all together. In a sense, I had always seen vulnerability as a sign of weakness, but I’m sick of the pretending, the posturing, and the
placating. God revealed a lot to me during debrief. He showed me that all those facades, all those secrets and lies, all those feelings of insecurity that I tried to cover up with my “I don’t give a dang” personality, all of that toughness, that armor that I placed around myself to protect me from exposing how I really felt about myself, all of that stuff that I did not want to confess to other people, let alone myself was preventing me from forming the relationships that I had so desired and was beginning to stunt the growth in my relationship with God.
***It is usually in moments like this when I think I have my crap together that God quickly informs me otherwise.***
It wasn’t until debrief that I was willing to accept my inability to handle every situation by myself, swallow my pride, and finally give all of this to the Lord. Amazingly enough, that very next day God strategically placed three very different women in my life that were going to challenge me to walk in that vulnerability; three women that were willing to call me on my crap and see right through every wall that I had built up; three women that were going to dare me to be 100% transparent with them.
My time at debrief made me realize that being vulnerable is not a weakness, but in letting my guard down and opening myself up to whatever comes from it is a testament of my true strength in Jesus Christ.
Debrief allowed me to see just how much my relationship with the Lord has grown in the past two months, and how my experiences on the race have taught me that there are times that it is necessary and beneficial to let down my defenses and allow myself to be loved by my support system, my team and all of my F-Squad family. I can't wait to see what this month has in store!!!
It wasn’t until debrief that I was willing to accept my inability to handle every situation by myself, swallow my pride, and finally give all of this to the Lord. Amazingly enough, that very next day God strategically placed three very different women in my life that were going to challenge me to walk in that vulnerability; three women that were willing to call me on my crap and see right through every wall that I had built up; three women that were going to dare me to be 100% transparent with them.
My time at debrief made me realize that being vulnerable is not a weakness, but in letting my guard down and opening myself up to whatever comes from it is a testament of my true strength in Jesus Christ.
Debrief allowed me to see just how much my relationship with the Lord has grown in the past two months, and how my experiences on the race have taught me that there are times that it is necessary and beneficial to let down my defenses and allow myself to be loved by my support system, my team and all of my F-Squad family. I can't wait to see what this month has in store!!!
Love you…mean it…
Chelsie Layne
Chelsie Layne
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