The end of the race is nearing in just a few short weeks and each day I am reminded of that. I have been having some freak out moments and some moments where I am super excited to arrive back on American soil.
One thing that we are encouraged to do on the race, always but even more so now is process what we have been through. I am at a point where I don’t even know where to start so I have decided to publically process.
I want to share with you all a specific moment from each month that was difficult and would have been easy to look past Jesus but to actually think about where He was in those situations.
Now mind you, some may be TMI but it wouldn’t be a true World Race blog without a little too much information.
Month 1: Ecuador
My team and I were doing something called Unsung Heroes and we had to travel to different cities around the country to look for potential contacts to partner with World Race. Our very first ever bus ride of the race was a 10 hour ride to Cuenca. I had gotten sick the day before departure. I was having some irregular bowel movements but I still had to continue on. Naturally, you think that coach busses with have bathrooms available for your use. Well, not in Ecuador. The bathroom was there but not available for use to anyone. There was also a language barrier between us American and the bus driver. So, because of the inability to use the bathroom, my pants soon became the bathroom. 4 days into the World Race and I was that person. I will spare you the rest of the “gory” details. I was embarrassed and quite frustrated and wondered why I had to get sick 4 days into this amazing journey.
So, where was Jesus? Jesus was in the grace that my teammates who had only known me for 4 days showed. We were able to laugh about it but they were also concerned by the end of it all and they went out of their way to love me well over the course of the next 2 days of me being sick.
Month 2: Peru
Peru was an interesting month to say the least. There were a lot of things that were different and uncomfortable. One thing that became a struggle that I was unaware of was telling my story and telling in a way that glorifies the Lord, the one who created my story.
Where was Jesus? He was in my teammate who encouraged me to tell my story as a good thing and to see where Jesus was in the hard times. That little encouragement shaped the rest of my race and the rest of the teams that I was on. I now have no shame in who I was and where the Lord has reshaped my life.
Month 3: Bolivia
Bolivia was one of my favorite months for ministry but was on the hardest months spiritually. I felt dry and felt like I couldn’t see God in anything. We had such amazing hosts and they loved us so well.
Where was Jesus? Jesus was in my hosts who continued to love me and have a blast with us but where I saw Him most was in one of my teammates who later became a squad leader. She pursued me and pushed me to be more like Christ. She went out of her way to get to know me and love me and she continues to do so and I am so blessed.
Month 4: India
India was full of surprises and unexpected ministries. Our last week there, we spent our week visiting different ministries that were heavier than the VBS’s we had been holding all month. The one that had the most impact on me was a homeless shelter that we went to. It really was just a shelter for the homeless because that was all that the organization could fund at the time. There were adults and children waiting around to be fed, young, old, and sick. My heart broke as we watched a video with the founder about all that goes on there.
Where was Jesus? Jesus was in the founder. This man would go out on the streets himself to pick people up, with his own 2 hands and bringing them back to his shelter. Although the shelter is not up to par, he does what he can to bring these helpless and hurting people to a better place.
Month 5: Nepal
Well, most of you know there was not only 1 earthquake but there were 2 with many after shocks that followed. The first was a 7.8 and the second was a 7.3. My squad was in the second one (you can read more about my perspective in my blog Holy Rumble 1,2, and 3). This was probably one of the most traumatic moments of my life.
Where was Jesus? He was there in the midst of the shake and the days to come. No one got hurt, we made back to the top of the mountain away from where we were working and we found shelter for 56 people for 3 days.
Month 6: Malaysia
Malaysia was an incredible month with the Lord. I saw Him in such new ways. We were in an area where there were surrounding brothels and where we lived used to be a brothel but was turned into a soup kitchen. I had a dream in Malaysia that opened up my eyes to what was going on around me. I had a dream that I was about to be sold for sex. This shocked me and confused me.
Where was Jesus? He was in my discernment. In my dream I got this gut feeling that I needed to try to get myself out of this situation and that I was trying to think of ways I could do that. As that happened I woke up before anything could happen and I thank the Lord for that. I saw just enough in my dream to have my eyes opened to the reality of what was around me. It then gave me a burden for the people around me.
Moth 7: Thailand
Thailand was a really hard month for me, personally. I was tested in so many ways and for that, it tested our team. I found myself having some resentment towards a teammate and I was unsure why and then the Lord showed me.
Where was Jesus? In the midst of all the emotion and hurt I was feeling, I realized I needed to grieve something. I lost my brother and sister within 6 months of each other in 2011 and 2012. The Lord showed me how much I had just pushed that aside and just tried to ignore it and he used a teammate to show me that I needed work through this. Sometimes the Lord uses unexpected and hard things to help us get over humps we tend to push away from.
Month 8: Cambodia
Cambodia was full of laughs. It was a silly time and we had moments where we just had to make the best out of things. We also had incredible hosts who made this easier.
Where was Jesus? I saw Jesus in our hosts. There were full of joy and it was so contagious. They were always happy and making the best out of each situation. I never once saw them without a smile and that was just super encouraging.
Month 9: Vietnam
We worked at a café teaching English and helping get the shop ready to open. There were days where we had a lot of down time and that allowed us to get to know the workers. In Vietnam you cannot openly talk about Jesus, which was difficult and one question I asked God was: How am I supposed to share about you this month?
Where was Jesus: He gave us the perfect opportunity to talk about Him safely. The main workers in the café were deaf. So, most of our morning consisted of going over to the café and sitting down and basically playing charades with the workers and we had so much fun. They told us their stories and told us about their families and we were able to share with them too. So the Lord just gave us the opportunity to hear about each other and talk about faith.
Month 10: Malawi
Malawi holds a special place in my whole teams heart. We fell in love with the family we lived with and friends that we met. It was a hard goodbye for sure. Even in the midst of miscommunication and language barriers, it was a joy. However, I faced some personal challenges and had to learn some hard adult lessons. This brought me doubt and fear about my future and I hit a wall.
Where was Jesus: Jesus was in the grace that He showed me but also in His pursuit. He kept reminding me that what He has for us is always best and I already said yes to Him so why would I turn away from it now. Even in the midst of my doubt, He still had me and pursued me and kept reminding me of what is good and what it right.
Month 11: Zambia
As this month is ending, it gets harder and harder to focus each day because going home to my family and friends is now days away! In the midst of this I have being hearing lies from the enemy such as not being equipped enough to go home or that I am not wise enough to make decisions for myself.
Where is He? The Lord is always here, sometimes we are just blind to him, especially when the enemy is feeding us lies. Over the past few days I have been able to be in touch with home and making plans and I have been able to express some of my concerns. Jesus is in my friends and family who continue to encourage me and build me up
This has been a trying year but one of the most incredible things! I have been able to rewrite some of my story and truly learn what it is to be a woman of the Lord. I am so thankful for all of my supporters and encouragers!
