I walk into our apartment building from the heavy rains outside. I was greeted by a teammate telling me the workers painted the stairs so we would not be able to get into our house until 3pm. It was 11:30 am. That information brought me tears as I stood there soaking wet, with puddles in my shoes and with bags of food in my hands. All I wanted to do was crawl in my bed with a movie and the soup I had bought. I absolutely despise being in wet clothes. The ladies at our apartment told us they had a room that we could wait in until we could go upstairs. They brought us towels and let us be. I was anxious, frustrated, annoyed, over stimulated and all of the feels.
My team and I stepped into the room and started to dry off but then realized we don’t have a change of clothes. Well, great. Thankfully, we are a team of just women. However, everyone else’s top half was dry so all they had to do was wrap a towel around their waste. As for me, I was wearing a long shirt that the bottom half got wet in the rain and of course my bottoms were soaked. So, that left me pretty bare. As we sat around and lay around I began to get extra overwhelmed. Why was I feeling this way? I asked myself that so many times but then I asked the Lord.
I came to the conclusion that I felt as if I had nothing, as if everything I had was gone. I felt humiliated and uncomfortable. I felt ashamed. I felt stripped away.
Now, I am not an insecure person. Was I sitting around in very little, yes but that’s not what I was ashamed of. I just felt as if all eyes were on me and that I was about to be mocked for something. I felt like I was in an arena full of people staring at me as I stand in the middle with nothing.
Earlier this month I prayed and asked the Lord to show me how I can give up my rights. Well, this was the moment. I realized that I don’t have a right to anything that I have. Everything I own, every opportunity I have been given, those are all blessings. Those are the things the Lord has blessed me with because of my obedience to Him. He showed me in this moment that there were people out there in that tropical storm that had nothing. They had no roof over their head; they were drenched and cold and would just have to wait out the storm. He placed me in that situation. Good grief was it eye opening! He literally stripped me of something so simple but it taught me such a big lesson.
I don’t deserve things but I am worthy because of my obedience. I am blessed, not entitled.
