Living in a wonderful home here in Thailand, my team and I have had many luxuries including things such as: washing machines, beds, pillows, blankets, western toilets, air conditioning, two AMAZING cooks, wifi, and so much more.
Now listen, these are all things I never even had to think about before. I thought that joining the race I would be living out of tents and hunting for food…. Okay I’m lying, but things are a lot nicer than I had ever thought I would be receiving while here. Sure, I thought I would be stretched more these first two months (and trust me I know the whole race will not be like this, and I am okay with that). Surprisingly, this has actually made me realize more about myself having all these luxuries than not.
How?
Well for starters, there is a four-letter temptation that seems to be lurking around every corner.. DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN…. WIFI.
Dear WIfi,
I love you,
I hate you.
Sincerely your slave,
ME
As much as it is convenient, and great, and the reason you’re reading this at the moment, it IS the biggest distraction. I’ll admit it (sorry, not sorry). At the beginning of the race I went made myself ‘fast’ from it. FASTING… FROM WIFI. Ugh.
But Laurie, it’s really not all that bad-
Okay, let me share my experience with you. This fast I was talking about… well, I grew SO MUCH. I was hanging out with my teammates and I was actually 100% engaged. Not constantly checking my phone, I read BOOKS of the bible (listen, this wasn’t happening at home), and I was having this real relationship with God. I craved that time with him.
I was so encouraged that I tested myself; I let myself have wifi all week….
I failed.
I slowly lost/ stopped everything that I had accomplished the previous week. I lost God to my phone (The dumb, shattered glass, plastic tool that “helps me stay connected”).
Was it worth it? no.
But you said you realized more about yourself?
I did! When I was consumed by my electronics, it felt like home. And not the comforting kind, the kind that felt empty. I was back to looking to other things.
This week was the HARDEST for me, I fell into the commotion of my team and I felt like I was drowning in all the mess, and to top it off I felt that I needed to solve all the problems. I do not like this emptiness and all I know is that I don’t want to have this when I go back home.
No, I am not going off the grid. This doesn’t mean I never want to use these things again. I just know how consuming it is, and I don’t want to get caught up in it and focus all my energy on something so artificial.
I will need to find that balance.
As of now, I haven’t.
What does this mean?
Well, on the 6th we head to Cambodia for our final month (surprise). During this, I will not be connecting to WIFI. I have a goal that I will only get on 3 times to update blogs, but otherwise no snapchats, no facebook, no texts, no instagram, NADA.
It CAN wait. 🙂
I’m so encouraged by this next month, and I can’t wait to see how my relationship grows stronger with the Lord.
Keep my team and I in your prayers.
Stay weird,
Laurie xx
