You wouldn’t think I was leaving the country again. Running around today grabbing coffee and frozen yogurt and a brilliantly long shopping trip to REI with Nicole, it just feels like another day. But walk into her house where I’m staying and you’ll instantly see my ginormous backpack filled to the brim with everything (well, almost) I’ll need for another 4 months of traveling. As much as I’d like to pretend I’m just here visiting a close friend from my own Race, I can’t avoid reality much longer. The truth is I’m leaving. I’m leaving the convenience of Starbucks and Walmart. I’m leaving the trendy, affordable treats of Target. I’m leaving the coma-inducing comforts of my own bed. I’m leaving the ease and accessibility of my cell phone and wi-fi on every corner. And I can’t help but wonder
As amazing and life-changing my own Race was, truth be told it was hard. Some days it was hell. I was frustrated frequently, annoyed easily, and there were a lot of days that instead of a reflection of Christ I was more like a reflection of Lord Voldemort right after Harry thwarts one of his schemes, yet again. It wasn’t anything like what I expected. It was more.
Yes, I’ve been flooded with thoughts of the hard times on the Race for the past week. Instead of remembering all the silly moments and spiritual freedom I walked through I can’t help but think of those days where I earnestly (and foolishly) strained my ears, hoping to hear God calling me to go home. And yet overshadowing every single one of those memories is this overwhelming urge to do it all again. The rumor and the whisper of something more, something bigger is still here deep within. It hasn’t been satiated yet, but something tells me I’m on the right road to turn up the volume on that whisper until its all I hear. And I can’t wait.
Last night, my last night in the States, a friend prayed over me. We were in the middle of a bar and he just spoke some great promises and truths over me. Truthfully I don’t remember everything he said, as tends to be the norm with me and my fickle memory, but the one thing that still sticks out is hope. He prayed that I would be reminded of the hope we all have. The hope I have. The hope you have. The hope the entire world has solely through Jesus Christ. And I can’t think of a better way to start this new adventure than with hope.
[Update — At 1:30am, the team leaders, my fellow squad leaders, and I will fly off to Guatemala. The rest of the squad will arrive Friday and Saturday. We will all spend a few days in Antigua together before each of the teams heads their separate ways for ministry.]
