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My friend Matt recommended I read The Prayer of Jabez. I was just going to add it to my list of books to read (which is ridiculously long) but he wanted me to read it asap. He started telling me all about the impact it already had on his own life. Matt and I have talked about God quite a bit, but I’d never heard him speak as passionately as he did that night. And, knowing how much I value promises, he made me promise I would go get the book the next day. I was stuck. So I read it.

The book extrapolates the prayer Jabez prays in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. The whole book was interesting and presented this particular prayer from an angle I’d never really viewed it from before. But there are a few pages in there that have been glued in my thoughts since I read them.

The author speaks of “Jabez appointments”. He presents this idea that God has appointments for us; each person on earth has certain meetings set by our Creator and all we have to do is ask and they will be given to us. “God specializes in working through normal people who believe in a supernormal God who will do work through them. What He’s waiting for is the invitation.” Then he tells a few stories to illustrate his idea of needing to ask God what our next appointment is. And they’re amazing.

I keep thinking about God as our Master Secretary. I don’t mean this in any kind of disrespect toward my Creator, my Almighty – it’s just a new way I’ve been viewing Him lately. I think of God with a day planner, color-coded (because God must be uber-organized) and written in pen (because His plans are perfect). I started wondering how many “meetings” I’ve missed out on. Or how many times I’ve just ignored what He’s written down. I picture myself taking a Sharpie and writing my own plans over these divine appointments. How rude! I know it’s not wise to think “what if”, but I just keep thinking about how dumb it is for me to do this. Think about it: you have a Father who is omniscient. He knows everything and loves you more than you can even perceive and He made the most perfect plans for you. He wrote them all down with compassion and with hope that, with the gift of free will that He’s given you, you would chose to keep all these appointments He’s made for you. How many of us choose to follow our own plans instead? More than that, how many of us don’t even bother to ask Him what He took the time to write down?
 

One of my biggest fears is getting in the way of the Lord. I can’t really seem to explain that very well to anyone, but basically I know He has this great plan for me. He has chosen me and created me with a purpose. He’s planned it out and written it down, completely out of incomprehensible love. But what if I mess it up? I question my role, His purpose for me, if the steps I’m taking are in line with where he wants me. What if I’m not obedient? What plans of His am I changing? Can they be fixed? So I make my own plans, and hope that they might line up with His.

There’s a song by Addison Road that says: “I tried to hear from heaven, but I talked the whole time.” It makes me think of when I’m on the phone. I’m not a very good phone-talker because awkward silences kill me. A lot of times I end up saying the most obscure things that pop in my head, just to avoid the quiet pause. How many times do I ask God what He has next for me but refuse to listen? I call Him up, but I do I let Him get a word in edge-wise? I plead for Him to reveal His will, His purpose for me, but do I sit and wait for Him to answer? Or do I just keep talking, filling the silence He might want me to dwell in?

Sometimes a drug addict will turn in his drug of choice in hopes of being clean but then, as soon as he needs his next fix, digs around his house until he finds his hidden stash. I keep turning my marker over to God, sincerely wanting to lay it at His feet forever. But, as soon as something unexpected happens, I’m rummaging around frantically trying to find a new writing instrument so I can flip open the planner and write down my own agenda.

How long until I put away the Sharpie for good?

Wow. Surrender the Sharpie. For good. To wake up every morning and say “Ok Dad, what you got written down for me today? What appointments have you chosen to entrust me with? What can I do to be best used by you today? Let’s flip open your agenda book and get cracking!”
 

[Ephesians 1:11, Psalm 33: 10-11, Psalm 40:5, Hebrews 11:40]