This past week and a half of being home has been a lot. It makes sense, too, seeing as which the race was…well… a lot. It has been a lot of moments of being okay and then an equal amount of not. It’s been a lot of trying to stay busy and avoid the silence that comes along with leaving 44 of your closest friends. And it’s been even more of realizing that I have to allow myself to sit in that silence and let the Father into this transition (after all, my life is His). It’s been trying to avoid this last blog because that means I am recognizing the end of this chapter that forever changed my being. And every single day it has been seeing that the race gave me lessons I couldn’t have learned here, it gave me revelations from the Lord that get to go into how I live my life, and that just because my #wrgapyear hashtag is gone- my memories, lessons, and God is not.
At the beginning of month 9, our pastor in Guatemala, Andrew Scott, said something that hit hard. He said, “The things you learned on the race He could’ve taught others at home, but He needed to bring you here to learn it.” It hit my pride, my stubbornness, my earthly image. But it reminded me that my experiences on the race don’t make me anything more, in fact it just kinda means I was too stubborn to listen to God in America so He made me follow Him to the middle of nowhere- aka Malawi. And because He did that, I want to share with you what He did end up teaching me on my World Race Gap Year.
God Cannot Fit In My Box
I’ve written about this a little bit before, but it is the biggest and most important thing I learned this year. When I left on the race in October I had this image of God and how my time with Him had to look. I had to sit down every morning for X amount of hours, I had to pray, annotate scripture, repent, and if I didn’t walk away with some sort of new revelation I had failed. But that’s not it at all. Nine months later I have learned that I am living each moment hand in hand with my Creator. He is constantly with me, leading, guiding, and encouraging. I am His and He never leaves me. I have learned that my time with Him doesn’t have to look a certain way. It can be laying on the ground, looking up at the clouds and just talking. It can be listening to a song and asking “what do You want to show me?”. It can be sitting in silence, meditating on His goodness. He doesn’t work in any specific text book way, and He talks to each of his creations in a unique way. All that matters is that we grab His hand and join Him.
The War Has Been Won, But We Are At Battle
Going on the race I new spiritual warfare was a thing. But I didn’t know how big of a thing. It was something that I brushed under the rug. I blamed my sickness, nightmares, and weird occurrences on the things around me. This year showed me the importance of not becoming numb to the ways of the enemy and calling him out in his attacks. Every single morning when I wake up I pray the armor of the Lord over myself. The battle has been won and the enemy has no chance, so I can’t let him have any foot holds.
The Lord is a God of Redemption
He makes all things new. My past does not define me, my family does not define me and this world does not define me. His love is who I am. This year the Lord showed me that when I fully surrender myself to Him, He steps in and makes me pure again. Nothing that I could ever do will make Him turn away from me. He showed me redemption in myself, in my team, in friendships, situations, and relationships all around me.
Self-Awareness is The Key to Growth
I never want to walk in darkness of myself again. Knowing what makes me decline in my growth, what makes me succeed, what causes stress in my life, or even my tendencies and sin-patterns has changed the way I go about my daily life. I went on the race as someone who used my head as a safe place, when things got hard I would retreat into my mind and ignore the problems and the world around me. I now know that this is a sign of descending for me. And in these times I have to step out in vulnerability and share with my community what is going on. This is just one example of many that have grown and changed me into being able to further my relationship with the Lord. *** Everyone should read The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. The enneagram is a life changer
We Aren’t Meant to Live Alone
I have always been a pretty independent person. I like to coast through life with only myself to worry about. But let me tell you, living 3 months straight with the same 5 other people with no wifi, and hardly any electricity will show you reaaaallll quick how much we need other people. The Lord created us as the Body of Christ. This thing was n e v e r supposed to be done alone. The growth, awareness and unity that comes when we live life surrounded by a Christ centered community is unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Life Is A Lot Easier With Open Communication
I never realized how passive/blunt I was before the race. It was always one or the other, never a balance. But living in a community where it is expected of us to call one another higher changed that. If someone did something that hurt your feelings- you told them. If there was tension- you called it out and fixed it. If someone was living out of the flesh and not the Spirit- you pointed that out. This year there was never any walking on egg shells, never any wondering what you did to make them upset or what made their day go wrong. Problems were addressed and fixed with the Lord kept at the center. This open communication is what allowed growth to happen, it’s what allowed us to become close to one another, and it is what changed how I interact with people. #feedback4ever
Life Is My Mission Field
Like Pastor Andrew said, some of you may already know this. You wake up every day and join the Lord, ready to be a light for His Kingdom. But for me, I had to leave to be taught that everywhere I step foot is my mission field. The Lord has equipped me to take His Kingdom wherever I go. As Christ followers He has entrusted us with the flock, “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them–not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve” 1 Peter 5:2. If I do nothing else in my life but be a light for a Kingdom, I have lived a great life and I am happy. I don’t have to be on the race to hold the title of missionary, I don’t have to be across seas or in dangerous lands- Spring, Texas needs missionaries too.
I am a daughter. A follower. A disciple. A missionary.
Because of this chapter in my life, I will never be the same. I’ve seen things I can’t unsee. I’ve felt things I had no clue I was capable of. I have experienced moments that will forever be engrained in who I am. The World Race changed my life for the better. I will never be content with the ordinary, I will never be okay sitting at a stagnant state. I am called to be different, to be a light, to do more and say more for the Lord. I am made new in Him. This chapter may be closing, but it’s just the beginning of a full life seeking and chasing His goodness full heartedly.
To everyone who has read my blogs, followed my journey, prayed for me and with me, supported me financially- thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much. You listen to the Lord and helped make this dream a reality. I am crying as I type this because you helped me in one of the biggest milestones of my life. Thank you for being apart of this season of my life.
-Lauren, Boxom, Laur-een, Laurenie, Lorena- or whatever else I was called in all the countries I went to.
“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
