When I was four or five, my mom would take me to the grocery store with her and I would ride along in the cart. Whenever someone would try to interact with me, I would grunt, make an upset face, turn away, and do my best to hide my face.
Why do I tell you this story? – Because sometimes, I feel a tendency to go back to that “grunt” mentality. I feel the tendency to not want to interact with anyone because everything inside of me just wants to be left alone.
I feel the tendency to “grunt” away ministry, change, teammates, feedback, and sometimes, even Jesus.
But, the longer that I live in close community with others, the more I realize that this is not the person that Christ has called me to be. He wired me to be a people person. I was made to interact. God created every one of His children to interact. He created us to help one another learn, to challenge one another, and to hold one another accountable.
It’s been a struggle to open up to my teammates, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that theses six women are my family. They’re going to be closer to me than I’ve ever been to anyone. We’re going to be spending the next year of our lives together and they’re going to love me, despite my flaws, my fears, my doubts, and my mistakes. They’re going to know that I’m struggling when no one else notices. They will know me inside and out, and still choose to love me. And honestly, that’s a little scary.
But God did not give a spirit of fear, to shy away when things get real. He gave a spirit of power, love, and self-control. Power, to proclaim Him; to stand tall and fight for the people around me, even when it’s the last thing I want to do. Love, to selflessly love whomever he has put in front of me. Self-control, to be obedient in all that He’s called me to be. He gave me my squad mates and teammates to hold me accountable, to uplift me, and to stretch me, as I do the same for them.
As my time in Puerto Rico slowly begins to come to an end and I’m going out into wherever He may take me next, it’s my hearts desire that I bring Him glory in all that I do – that I step up into all that I’ve been called to be. That I rise against what my flesh wants and, instead, dwell in who He is. That I spend time with others, speak what’s really on my heart, and pour myself out to serve, love, and pursue others, as Christ pursues me.
Why? Because Christ has called me to live a life worthy of Him, and that means sharing life. It means community.
