It’s hard to believe another month has gone by. This month was far different than any other month on the race yet. I would venture to say, this was the hardest month so far. I have never been so emotionally and spiritually drained, as I was this month. Attacks from the enemy were strong. They came from all different directions and often wore lovely disguises. An attack that I was frequented with, was that I was not being used in this ministry, that I couldn’t talk with the girls because I had nothing to say that they wanted to hear. Satan would tell me I didn’t belong there and that I should just go home. But as soon as those lies came in, the truth followed quickly, “No my daughter, I need you here. They need you here. I will give you the words to say, an ear to listen, the heart to understand. Trust me.” And so I would continue to head out every night. Oh sure, I would have a headache as soon as I was on Bangla Road and my body just ached for the three hours we were done there, but I didn’t let that stop me.
My team and I covered that street with prayers. We even held a 24 hour prayer event and saw God use that in big ways for His glory. I was given a tender heart for the people on Bangla Road. There were times where I could easily get frustrated with what I saw, but God quickly reminded me to stop and pray, and that if I was without sin, then I could cast the first stone… So instead of judgment, I found myself setting down stones on Bangla Road, giving over my bitterness, my anger, my hurt–all to God.
Night after night we went into bars, sat down and talked with the girls. Often, I found my ministry was to random people, instead of bar girls. I usually found myself in conversations with the people sitting next to me. Many of them just lonely. I met people from all over the world. At first, I thought I was not doing what I was sent there to do, but then I realized that this was exactly where I needed to be, and exactly who I needed to be talking to that specific night. I think because of all the randomness of my ministry this month it was easy for me to let Satan tell me I didn’t do anything and I failed. BUT, as many reminded me I was planting seeds and seeds take time to grow. It was not my job to water those seeds and see the fruits of this ministry–it will be someone elses’ calling. God will have me see fruits in other ways and other places. That is how the body of Christ works. We all have our part to play. The few people I was able to connect with will always be on my heart to pray for though, and I know God will bring others into their lives to further His kingdom. I know He will finish the good work He has started.
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