“Dear Sir: Regarding your article, ‘What’s Wrong with the World?’ I am. Yours truly, G.K. Chesterton.”
For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently on my way home from training camp. This is a 10 day camp where I took only the things I need with me on the race (pack, day bag, tent, etc.) and live at a campsite at an Adventures in Missions training site. While I was here, I was fed different types of food that I’ll encounter on the race, given multiple different sleeping situations that could potentially occur, trained in missionary logistics and trained physically to stay fit. I also met the 6 person (all girl!!!!) team that I’ll be with during my race and fell in love with the rest of my squad (s/o to the other swaggy 50-something people on Gap J). The first half of camp was dedicated to campers and teaching us to become vulnerability. It was incredibly emotional and I saw lots of chained people become free including myself. The second half of camp was more for realistic field scenarios and actual missionary training such as specific cultures and specific ministries we’ll be involved with.
Writing this post-training camp article is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a while. I’m lost trying to find a way to fit everything I did and saw and heard and learned in the last 240 hours in a few-hundred-words blog post. There’s no way for me to (as BAD as I want to) give you the micro-detailed version regarding every second of the last 10 days. So I’ve decided to tell you about the person I became while I was there and the God that is behind all of it.
I am redeemed – the God that I read about and thought I knew IS real. So real. So much more than anything I can even begin to comprehend. He is love and acceptance in its purest form. I walked into the training center on the very first day and thought to myself, “this is church.” It was a room of broken people with faith that could move mountains and I’ve never been so lost for words as I worshipped beside them to a God that sees right through our outsides straight into our hearts.
I am free – for the first time in my life, I have no secrets. I’m able to embrace vulnerability and put into practice the kind of relationship with Christ that I long to bring others to. I’m able to live in forgiveness in the present state. I’m able to serve a God that is jealous for me. I’m able to shamelessly share my story and dance in redemption.
I am refreshed – I can honestly tell you that I am NOT the same person I was when I packed my bags to head to Georgia on August 8th. I went empty and was filled to the brim. I’ve been showered (sadly, not literally…) with the love of people who long to be a servant of Christ.
I am dependent – this was only a glimpse of what I’m going to encounter on the race but I was able to experience abandonment leading to brokenness leading to dependence. Portapotties, bucket showers, sleepless nights, unpredictable weather, dirty clothes, strange food. In Matthew 10, Jesus sends out his disciples telling them to take nothing with them. No gold or silver, no bag or extra shirt or sandals. He tells them that in this way, the kingdom is coming! I was able to get to a place where I looked to God in my community and my quiet time to give me the comfort that I didn’t have in the form of worldly things. It’s scary and exciting all at once.
I am excited – ITS HAPPENING. Really really happening. I’m getting the tools I need to take the gospel to the nations. I’m learning bless others and practice humility in letting them bless me. I’m serving a God that consistently has my best interest in mind and is jumping for joy as He watches His children prepare to take the word to the rest of the world. I’m serving a God that laughs at me as I worry about getting the funds in. I’m serving a God that has commanded me to go.
I’m far from ready and I don’t know that I’ll be any closer in the span of just one month, but God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
So often we ask ourselves, ‘what’s wrong with the world?’ We are. We sit and watch and wait. We’ve been given the Great Commission and I believe it’s time to fearlessly go and make disciples of all nations. I can’t wait to share this journey with you all.
