I am
a Jesus freak and the black sheep! I remember the first time I was called that I
was so mad I cried; now I know what it takes to be me. When you give your life
to the Lord no one tells you how hard it is to be a GOOD Christian, we all must
learn the tests and lessons in/of life to truly know the truth of ANYTHING (if
that makes any sense). You dig for clarity and you find another problem.. The
devil push and pulls your mind soul and your heart he will never let go he will
fight to the end to mess up anything in your path… (stay faithful you will be rewarded)
Thank God for Jesus! Even though you have the Lord our Savior that has nothing
to do with the devil trying anything in his power to crumble your world..
I
remember the first day I became a real Christian and baptized, my pastor dared
the congregation to pray for God to wreck your life for the better. I prayed it
with so much intensity and I got what I asked for. Everyone has a honeymoon
period with God and mine was short lived.. I remember telling God a couple
weeks later that I was just kidding about wreaking my life and I think He
laughed (I wasn’t). I think the devil heard that pray as well…
A
month after that came the fire; God says to me I know you’re going to get
married to this man in two weeks but his not the one leave him and you will be
blessed( I was secretly going to elope). Wow how much can a person take 23
years of my life I’ve been sad weak and miserable and you’re going to take the
one person that makes me happy away.. He says I want to be enough for you I want
to make you happy I want to be your man I want your love I don’t want to share
you with anyone and I couldn’t believe it. My God wanted to be my husband, He didn’t
want to share me He says I’ll show you what kind of husband you deserve. I was
so hurt because my soon to be husband had no idea, it came to him like a smack
in the face. God told me to never talk to him again and He’ll take care of the
rest. (It still isn’t easy)
Then
I lost my job because I talked about God and the World Race to much.. I so
wanted to sue the person that fired me but God said I have better plans you didn’t
want to work there anyways pray for her, pray that her business does better than
it ever has, pray for everyone that works there… I said ok I can only do this
with your strength. I couldn’t believe I got fried for the man I loved the most,
the person I wanted to talk about every waking moment of my life…(now when I think
about it, it’s the best reason to get fired) When I got the news I was having my graduation
dinner with my mother and I told her I lost my job because of God she says at least
you didn’t die for him and I thought of all the people that have died for
Jesus.. and I was thankful for my life and that day on I gave my life, every
breath to the Lord I know that there are people that can’t go to church can’t
read the Bible can’t worship Him out loud with all their might and people being
tortured for Him all day everyday and I only
lost my job.
One
thing after another if I have to go through all the CRAP of life to be the best
person for God to use to build His kingdom then I’m here I’m in all in. My life
has no walk in the park and I know people have it worst but since I’ve been 3
it has been nothing but hell….. And I’m ok with that… As long as I have the Lord living within me I have
everything.. My testimony is a great one I have a story I’m still here and
fighting the devil, there is a war and I’ m apart of it, everyday I’m so
thankful for having a church family, a church a community that I can be a part
of.. No one can take my story away I went through what I have because of myself
and others..God will use my past to speak to others when I speak with someone I
can honestly say I know.. God only wants me to love Him, He only wants
me to be His little girl.. I have a
GREAT DAD His name is Jehovah you can have a personally relationship with Him
if you would like to have one with God then just talk to Him like you would
with a best friend.
Jesus I believe in you with
all my heart….. I walk by faith!
Tried alone depressed scared
stressed sad mad anger alone ashamed cry all the time and there not happy tears…….??????
If this sounds like you email
me I know of something that can help you the key to life. Don’t let the devil
hold you back email me let’s talk.
