I know this is long…and against the rules…but oh well! 🙂
Intro to all this:
Life is a like a roller coaster of emotions every day. So much is happening. I feel like many world racers in my squad have much life experience…. being young, high school, college, and all the fun and learning experiences that occur when taking on the independent road. Then there a lot of challenges along the way for many of us, some that we have control over with our choices and us being young…or the things God just allows to happen. I am the 23 year old, live life to the fullest and for all those world racers reading (ESFP haha)! Pretty much means you cannot hold my attention for a long period of time and I dance whenever with or without music! Though I have an amazing family and love every second of my life…since around February 2009, I felt like my world came crashing down!
Let me first say our God is a God who has control over everything. I may not like His plan…but His plan is perfect. I probably could not have said that a couple months ago. I prioritize my life like this back in the day…Me and God shared the top spot for number one in my life. Number two was no doubt my family. Number three was friends. Number four was school (past that). Number five would be anything I choose to do. (Anyone that knows me knows I pretty much pour myself into something whether sport or job… that’s just ME).
I feel like I have to give you a little history before I get to the actual content of this…so moving forward. Back to February 2009, I was playing basketball in college and playing in NC when my mom gave me the news that my dad has cancer and that as soon as possible he will have to have surgery because it was spreading. Well, that moment you instantly think…What the heck God? This is a man of God who is just on fire for Your Kingdom. Honestly, perfect dad. Always attended anything us four kids were doing and had great relationships with each one of us kids. My dad was one of my best friends. We hung out all the time. He was involved in everything together. Went to Europe together, called me at college every other day same time to just check on me. (I can still see his text at 6am in the morning on my phone that just said, “Lauren, your missed at home but know God will do amazing things in you wherever you go. Love you, Dad”. Perfect husband. Loved my mother like she was the only woman in the world, he loved her unconditionally. He literally was just thankful for my mom and showed it in his words, actions, and thoughts every day. Perfect talker. If you know my dad you know he can talk to anyone! You could be 5 or 95, this man could talk to you about anything and everything! Pretty much the coolest person ever…road trips all over the country, run with me in the mornings, make breakfast every Saturday morning for the family! I cannot express how happy I am to have such an example of a man of God. He was always sending words of encouragement that reflected Christ and was always challenging us to leave each day as if Jesus was right there. I did not understand that until the last two years of his life. He was in studies and just wanted to witness and share Jesus with others. My dad wanted to know about the Kingdom, our purpose, His love, compassion and will for his life. My father loved Jesus and my dad knew how to love something. He showed it in his wife, family, job, and anything he chose to pour himself into. When he found he had cancer, the love and being ready for Jesus showed. He spent every minute with us kids and being there for us and our family. As you can see, I love my dad and the example he was in my life. He passed away on April 2009 to cancer. The 500+ people at the funeral was just a small testimony to the legacy he left in people’s lives. Seriously, every can only say amazing things about my dad and has a story to go with everything that was said.
I miss him like crazy and there is not a day that does not go by that I do not think of him but I have struggled with God because of it. I hated that he took my dad from my amazing family. I hated that he was not going to be there for all the great moments still to come and just to be there to talk, or text or just be there. To say that it is awesome to be going on this trip…so many people tell me that this is something my dad would do and I so believe it. But God has brought me to where I am now. Broken, Abandoned, and grieving over things I hold so dear in this life. Grieving my father is normal, but my whole attitude toward Jesus changed. I really just thought He did not hear my prayers and was out to ruin my life. God allowed me to do my thing and just make decisions without Him in the picture, but it only created more problems. I had to break…and God did work. I had to fall in love with Jesus again. I knew God was always there, just not involved in my life. He took things I cherish and love most. But I am at a point that God allowed me to find Him all over again. I did break and grieve and had to abandon the old self to find that I have two amazing dads. Both have set the example of greatness in my life. I have seen Jesus and saw Jesus through my dad. I want to seek after Jesus the way my dad did. I have that fire inside of me and know that Jesus is the way to full happiness. I am so in love with him! I want to share Him with others, his love and compassion for people. I had to change my priorities in life and make Jesus first, I would not have came to Jesus if my dad did not died because I had nothing that I felt like I needed Jesus for, he put life into perspective for me. My priorities for my life are so changed…I am not number one anymore and God is definitely first. I am thankful to say that I have the Bible and my experiences with Jesus everyday that draw me to my heavenly father I have looking down on me rooting me on to be a daughter of His that makes a differences and draws people to falling in love with Him and seeking Him the way I had to find Him. Then I had a father who loved me because I was his daughter and he influenced me to be the girl I am today. Outgoing, talkative, loving, and driven to pour myself into anything and anyone I run in contact with. He now can watch with my heavenly father and cheer me on to be all I can be for the kingdom. So amazing!!!! J I am lucky to be so blessed in my life, to have such an amazing daddy but have a daddy up above who knew what would bring me to him. To get me ready for this next journey in my life and this trip! I can be so much more because of this happened! This verse was one of the verses that got me through the hard times Psalm 90:14, “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, so that we can sing and rejoice for all our days”. God will satisfy us every day with what we need to get through, it may be the best day ever or just getting through, but He is amidst it all and will bring us through! 🙂
