It’s been nearly 11 months since I have been on the mission field, and all this year I have heard the same thing from those I meet, how “incredible it is that I am doing such a thing for others at such a young age”. That really somewhat throws me off, not just because these comments come from those that don’t know my age, and guess me to be in my early twenties at best, but mostly because I was 28 when I left, and now less than two months away from my 30th Birthday; the world seems to think that there are certain requirements for a woman of my age. …of which this incredible thing I am part of doesn’t support.
We somehow have collected the idea that a woman nearing or in her thirties should be bound to the city she dwells in, where she can choose to make a real estate investment, shall stay in her steady career, and if single should be in pursuit of a man near said city with the same such accord. So, to hear that this is the “perfect time in my life to do such a thing”, well, it’s typically a dead giveaway that the person speaking doesn’t have a clue of my age. Just less than a decade of years above their perception, I am baffled because the statements I heard when leaving for this mission were typically of the exact opposite nature.
See, everything that the world is striving for, I had. I had the amazing career, and one that I actually genuinely enjoyed. I was active with a few fabulous charities, had a phenomenal group of friends that both loved and inspired me, was living in an upscale home in the center of a prestigious Detroit suburb, had recently purchased the latest Cadillac, had plenty of nice things, in fact as someone who had worked in fashion for most of my career, I had the kind of wardrobe that women dream of. And to make matters even more confusing for my family and friends, I had dated and was engaged with an incredible man of God for years, only to step away from the plans of a wedding just four months before my departure with the total peace of God upon me as I opted into an exclusive relationship with Christ alone. To this point, it seemed all of my wild childhood dreams had been pursued, conquered, and fulfilled. From successful work in fashion, radio, television, film, and the magazine industry; I had it all. So why, if I had what the entire world wants, would I give it all up? Those close to me did dare to ask this as they looked out for my best interest and sought to prove that I hadn’t gone crazy. Yet, to this day, I haven’t felt the need to answer the question. Perhaps because the only answer I really have is this: that’s what God does. I had it all, but I needed more.
More of HIM, yes, but also more of a “Holy Shift” to take place, and it has! The amount which I have grown this past year is exactly what I needed. See, when you come to a place where you have left everything and have no choice but to rely completely on God and God alone for your strength, happiness, confidence, peace and satisfaction; HE delivers! HE delivers every time and never fails. Although there is absolutely no place I would rather be than in the perfect will of God, and it is great, it doesn’t mean there are no trials. This mission hasn’t been all about holding babies, singing amazing grace, and traveling the world… It’s actually likely been more of the opposite: tests and trials. It gets tough, but when it does, God can show up. When there is a trial taking place and it feels like there is no way out, that’s where growing happens, and the maturing that HE has planned for us comes to life. I have had to go through the pain of trials to get the maturity and the victory that I am intended to have at the point in my life.
God doesn’t want to settle for us the way we are. HE isn’t Bruno Mars, y’all. God has rescued us here on earth so that HE may use this world to grow, transform, and strengthen us. HE desires for HIS children to be strong members of the Kingdom, and this can only happen by enduring the things that make us strong. The good news is, even though we may have to go through things, we are never alone. We go through with the creator of the universe at our side with HIS right hand outstretched to us, HIM before us, and with the deposit of HIS Spirit in our hearts as a promise for the things to come. I endured, I was strengthened.
On this Race there have been trials of many kinds; trials on my patience, faith, self-control, trust, strength, emotions, health, mind, self worth… You name it, I faced it. Things that could have, and by any reasonable terms should have brought me down were directly in my path with no way around. There were things that I had “prepared” for, and even the lengthiest of preparation cannot change you the way that a challenge itself does, but I was as ready as any of God’s children can be for the attack of the enemy.
The enemy, in case you haven’t guessed is the devil, and he wants to hold women like me as prized trophies in his captivity, for I have been made for a specific purpose in The Kingdom. When The Word states that “the work has been prepared in advance”, there are things I imagine I was uniquely created for. I recall the woman who after meeting me, told me she had been praying for me for the entire year from the time her fiancé passed away unexpectedly, the group of teen girls that received restoration in the midst of their brokenness, the baby that was brought to full health after he had been cast aside and left clinging to his little life. …in EVERY MOMENT of our lives there lies great purpose, and although not all expose their life altering impact to us, they are there, waiting for us to uncover. Only when we rely on God and God alone can we show up with HIM to fulfill that purpose, because HE is far more powerful than the enemy that is attempting to keep us from bringing the light to the dark places.
Yes, this means, my purpose over the past eleven months has been nestled deep into some of the darkest places of the world. Completely and fully relying on HIM, knowing that the moment I start to rely on myself would be the very moment of defeat, I was experiencing some sort of deep shift, in the midst of broken mess that surrounded me. Dramatic change has taken place as the result of trials and tests of many kinds, that have made me more mature, whole, lacking nothing. My only hope is that the woman that returns home resembles more of Jesus than ever before. That any area of my being, lacking of me, may contain a surplus of Christ. The gifts, passions, and pizazz that HE created me uniquely with still exist, for they are a reflection of our makers creativity. (Bruno wasn’t completely wrong) The calling has not been to abandon the uniqueness I have been given and be Jesus, but to abandon myself and be more like Jesus in character.
So, really these changes have represented more of a shift than anything else. Over the next couple weeks, this will be shared here in a series fondly entitled, “Shift Happens!”.
xox,
Lauren Elizabeth
Princess Warrior
Images:
Take a look at my “giant closet” today in the second picture that I shot just for the sake of this story.
The third image represents a Holy shifting, as I still possess a unique combo of physical and personality characteristics. No before race photo necessary, since identity in Christ didn’t mean I had to grow a beard and wear sandals and a robe all the time… Thank goodness!
