(This is part two of a blog called “New Eyes”)
Being blessed with eternally focused eyes meant also gaining more righteous anger, passion, and just wanting so much more for myself and others. I can see potential and more in them that the Lord put there than what they are walking in and I want to pull it out of them. I have seen how we have missed it. How we are missing it. We walk according to our past instead of who Christ says we are in this moment. I have realized how much we have looked to the right and to the left to see if we are doing things how the Lord would want rather than looking to Him and asking for it. We live by a “better than the rest” or an “I’m living like other Christians” mentality rather than asking the Lord for each breath and what He wants to do with it. We aren’t living a cross-worthy life. I have realized that there are things I have done in the past and even more recently that I thought were ok, that just aren’t. I have been falling seriously short of the cross. I’m sick of myself and others who claim to follow Christ walking with the world in more ways than we realize. This has so many elements to it, from things that seem minor but are really a big deal, to things that are blindingly obvious. I am maneuvering through what the Lord really asks of us, I am figuring it out day by day. I thought I knew, I thought I was doing ok, and I was, in terms of the world. I want to be like the horses in the race with the blinders on, so as to not be distracted by the world, but to be running the race with my eyes locked with the Lord’s.
Relationships with the Lord are falling complacent. Everyone’s walk with the Lord looks different, and yet we somehow try to mold things together to look the same to claim people are doing it “right” or “wrong” based on how everyone around is doing it. There is clearly a manner in which the Lord is asking us to live, but I think we look to others more than we look to Him. This happens in ministries and churches as well. If they have the same flow as others, they think they are ok, and yet they fall complacent. The cross is lost; it is no longer the focus. The Bible is no longer enough. Complacency is far from the heart of Christ. One of the things I am most deeply grateful for, is that the Lord does not ever allow us to stay the same. So this is not discouraging, it is an encouragement. The Lord has more! Amen to that.
Needless to say, the past few months have been humbling. I have had the foundation of my faith rocked in many ways and have fought to get closer to the heart of Christ and I am excited for more. He has been reiterating lessons He is teaching me through verses, books, squadmates, debrief sessions, etc, until they are implanted deeply in my heart. The Lord has been bringing many changes and is calling me into things that are beyond my own human ability. He is calling me to love more than I want to and to go farther and deeper with Him. I know that it is not going to be by my own strength and ability and I am so thankful for that, because there, His power will be made perfect in my weakness. He is cutting away safety nets that I fall back on in order to run harder after Him alone. I am fighting for more of Him and I am growing more and more. It is a battle and it is not easy many days, but it is so so good.
With that, I am taking a fast from the internet and a few other things for the month. I am going to go deeper with the Lord and fight for the people He has put directly in front of me. He is asking for more, and I am going to walk in it.
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Thank you so much for your love over the past 4 months! You all have been such a blessing! I wanted to give you a financial update since I won’t be on the internet this month. I am still in need of $1,764.13 by January 1st in order to continue for the next 7 months. If you feel led to donate, you can click on the “support me” button on the left side and follow the directions. Thank you so much for your prayers and support! I am so thankful!
