Swaziland, Month 2
It wasn't untill our last few days in Swaziland that I fully understood the purpose behind our ministry, or why God had me where I was. While Swaziland was surprisingly breathtaking, we lived in the city of Manzini. Sadly, Manzini is a dirty, busy little city, which did not capture the slightest bit of the country's beauty (in my opinion). Our ministry was to visit the patients occupying Hope Hospital. I have never been much of a nurse, and I was nervous about praying over people I didn't know in front of my teammates. The patients ranged from the ages 19-84, most of them didn't speak a lick of English, and some were too sick to acknowledge our presence. That being said, this month wasn't my first choice, and when it came to blogging, I was at a loss for words. I felt like I didn't have anything to say that was worth reading.
Unlike our long days in Mozambique, we were only expected to serve at Hope Hospital from 8:00 am-10:00 am. We had the rest of the day to do whatever we wanted. My team was paired with two other teams, making us a group of 20. We lived in a small 4 bedroom house with a kitchen, living room, and porch where we ate most of our meals. Rather than keeping each team's budget's separate, we pooled our money for both transportation and food. We ate our meals together, and had an all team movie night on Sundays in which Macaroni, dessert, and popcorn became tradition. With so much downtime, we were able to be more like ourselves. Many people picked up hobbies they would normally do in their free time back at home such as morning runs, afternoon coffee, or drawing. It was refreshing to hang out, talk, and learn more about each other. However, it was also in this downtime that I found myself growing homesick. It seemed like, the more the days became more like days at home, the more I desired to be back in my actual home. I started to wonder what we were even doing in Swaziland? I didn't leave the comfort of my home and fly halfway around the world to drink coffee on a porch.
Sitting around at "home" also stirred up the feelings of frustration I had been feeling in my down time before the race. Being a college graduate, I was starting to feel the pressure to know what I wanted to do next. I was struggling to hear where God wanted me to be. I voiced this irritation to a friend, and she reminded me that one of the reasons I am on this race in the first place is because in seeking God's voice for direction, He told me to go on the world race. While I don't understand God's reasoning, or timing, this is where he has me right now, and that's all that should matter. For the remainder of our time in Swaziland, I made it a point to wake up earlier to have some quiet time before the rest of the house began to stir. I realized that though I am away from home and friends this year, there are still distractions here, (if not more), and that I need to put in the time with the Lord whether I am on the race or not.
The month slipped by, and on our second to last day at the hospital, the door to a room we rarely had visited was opened. The patient was a young woman in her early 30's. She was very frail, weighing maybe 70 lbs, and she refused to speak. She was a frightening patient to visit to say the least. When we would visit, we would sit at her bedside and she would just stare at us wide eyed, blank in the face without even a blink. There were other patients who didn't respond much to us, but this girl was different. I don't know if our visits made any difference to her, but as uncomfortable as it was I felt the need to pray over her once more. The reason I'm telling you about this patient is, unfortunately, not to end this blog with some crazy miracle. However, as I sit here again, trying to think of what to tell you about my month in Swaziland, I can't help but think back to this speechless patient back at Hope Hospital. Before we left her room, we prayed over her bedside, and I prayed something like, "Lord, sometimes it is in the silence that we hear you the most. I pray that she hears how much you love her. May she put her trust in your word."
Our last day visiting the patients at Hope Hospital finally arrived. Relationships had been formed between us and many of the patients. We left with heavy hearts seeing that not only the patients, but some of their care takers were upset to see us leave too. We had been visiting the same patients daily for three weeks and we all were relieved to see that our time at the hospital had not been wasted. I laugh now, looking back on some of the visits we had. Sometimes we would literally have no idea what to say, and would look desperatley at one another hoping the Lord would give someone (anyone), some words to fill the silence. There were many awkward moments, but even in those moments of silence, I know the patients were aware of our presence, and that was enough for them. It was moving for me to see that simply talking to these people about things sometimes as interesting as the weather had made a difference. They felt loved simply because we cared to take the time to sit, and just be with them.
Our ministry was simple this month. Sit with the patients, be still, and show God's love for them even when that meant sitting silently beside their bedside. I think that we assume that God only has these difficult lessons for us to learn, or these crazy plans we have to tackle, when really He can be quite simple. Unfortunately, it's when he is simple that we tend to glance over what he is saying, because it "sounds too easy." He can teach us little things such as the importance of taking the time to just be still and listen to his voice, and I think that is something I started learning this month. Seeing that young girl choose to remain speechless, for whatever reason she chose, reminded me of the importance of choosing to be still and listen. We may not always understand the situation life throws us into, or have the right words to say, but just remembering God presence is enough. I still can't tell you exactly why God has me on this race, but I do know one thing, when I think about where I am now, I know it was none other than God's call and my listening to his voice alone that got me here. This race is way too crazy for me to think up by myself. And that, my friends, knowing that He called me and is present through all this, is enough for me.
Psalms 46:10
Fundraising update: I still need $1,200 by April 1st! Keep my team and I in your prayers as we are all still trying to make the deadline!
