I touched on this subject briefly in my blog about circumstances in Cambodia, and how God gave me a reality check when I was craving coffee and ice cream! But I believe it merits a blog of its own, as entitlement is a theme which I have been wrestling with during the race.
I don’t think we realise how entitled we are. I know I hadn’t. I took it for granted that I had a comfortable life and that for the most part, I could do the things I wanted as I pleased. Being on the race has turned that comfortable world upside down. I gave up my rights to chose what I do with most of my time, what ministry I serve in, where I go, who I see and things like what I eat, drink and wear.
One particular area where God has highlighted this is with my off time. When the World Race is advertised as this great adventure, the expectation can be that off days will be free to go and do all the exciting things you could dream of. And sometimes that is the case, I have got to have some incredible experiences. But more often than not I have been constrained by factors such as location and transportation. It’s all very well to dream of playing with elephants in Thailand, but when you are hours away from a sanctuary with no transport that dream has to be let go of. Or to want to go to Cape Town, but not be able to because you’re on the other side of the country.
At times it’s been really hard to accept that. I struggled with jealously when other squad mates got to do the things I wanted to. Why would God allow them to have that experience but deny me? Why is God withholding it from me?
Here are a few of my thoughts on this:
1. Most important of all I am learning not to be entitled – God doesn’t owe me anything, He owns me. My relationship with God is not based on me making demands and Him giving them to me.
2. I’m not on the race to “do all the things” – serving in ministry does come with sacrifice and I have to trust that not only are those sacrifices worth it, but they are because God has chosen me to be in a specific place for a reason.
3. God is faithful and a “not now” is not necessarily a “never” – God sees the desires of our heart and it’s not wrong for me to dream of adventures, after all it was Him that made all these beautiful places I want to explore. Just because I didn’t get to do or see it this time, doesn’t mean I won’t ever get to. God doesn’t withhold good things from us, He just has perfect timing for them.
4. Jealously and comparison steal our joy – my journey is my own and comparing it to other people’s is futile. It just steals the joy that was right under my own nose. I’m not entitled to their joy because God gives me enough of my own.
God loves to give us good things. If we give up our sense of entitlement to them, we can appreciate them for what they are, gifts. When I finally made it to the beach after 5 months away from it, I was so deeply moved by how faithful God is. He chose to give me that gift and I loved it.
All too often I think people turn their backs on God because He didn’t give them what they wanted. But that is not the essence of relationship with Him. It is to be completely content and satisfied just in Him. I’m not professing to be completely there yet, or saying that this means not having hopes and dreams. But there is a difference in being content with whatever God gives us at a given time, rather than our contentment being contingent on the fulfilment of our own desires.
I am learning to simply delight in closeness to Him. I hope that by reading this you at encouraged to do the same.
