Hey Baby Girl,
It's been a year.
A year since I first laid eyes on you.
A year since I first held you.
A year since I became your Mamma.
And a year since you went to meet our Maker.
I think about you all the time; weekly, if not daily.
When people ask me what was the hardest part of the Race I give them the answer of "community". If I see they really want to know I tell them how I became a mamma and then,
and then our Maker had other plans. Every time I cry. Sometimes it's only a tear. Sometimes it's a full out ugly cry. Sometimes the listener(s) cry with me.
In days before you passed, I had asked about India-American adoptions. It almost seemed perfect, as I was turning 30 within the year. I told Kalin, day one, that I wanted you.
You were perfect. Your beautiful round head. Your big almond shaped brown eyes. Your smile, though fleeting, would melt my heart into a puddle. It broke my heart when you would cry. I know you don't cry anymore, do you?
Do you remember the song I would sing you? You knew my voice. I'll never forget the first time you turned toward me when you heard my voice. You were my baby.
You still are.
You had such a peaceful sweet spirit, even at only a few months old. I don't understand why God had to take you away so soon. It's not comprehendible. But I do know that I am so thankful to have been blessed to be your Mamma for the final days of your short life.
Your story lives on.
Our story lives on.
I won't forget you.
I love you Baby Girl,
Yours forever,
Mamma
——–
For further reading on Chandrika's life (her internet name was Rosemary) please read my other blog posts:
http://lauraschaefer.theworldrace.org/?filename=her-name-is-rosemary
http://lauraschaefer.theworldrace.org/?filename=unforgettable-love
