Beauty From Pain

So, India has been pretty miserable.  Yes the conditions are ridiculous with the inescapable heat, the bug infested everything, the sicknesses, the boards we sleep on, right down to the duct taped on toilet seat (although I am thankful to actually have a toilet that flushes).  However, beyond the outside difficulties I have been pretty miserable on the inside to.  Angie calls this my “bloody mess”- she says she felt this way about a month ago, like you fell flat on your face and got rocks in all your cuts.  Well, I have just been feeling awful.  While I don’t want to fill this blog with negative thoughts, they are the only kind I have been having lately.  So instead I will post some lyrics to a song I discovered on my Mp3 player that describe how I feel and how I hope to feel soon.  Please pray for me, and pray that I have some sort of breakthrough.  I don’t know what that breakthrough will look like, or what I should be striving towards, but I know something needs to change (hey Seth, if you have any super deep World Race insight feel free to email me!)

 

Beauty from Pain- Superchicks

 

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I’m alive but I feel like I’ve died
And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I’m slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I’ll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can’t understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you’ve brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what I can’t see
I forgot how to hope
This night’s been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain