I have started and restarted this blog over and over. There are just so many overwhelming things God has been doing in my life and I don’t know where to start. As I was driving home tonight, I kept thinking on the sacrifice of Christ. Sure, it seems obvious to think about Him since it is His birthday tomorrow…but it goes deeper than it ever has before for me this year. I am reminded this Christmas Eve of the immensity to which He loves us. He sacrificed His life, all of it; no holding back of anything. He gave everything up so WE could have it all, all being Him. He gave His life so we could have life. That kind of sacrifice is the perfect example of true and pure love. And as I pondered that and dwelt on the beauty of that, flashes of His provision started to flood my mind. He seems to constantly be working in and around and through my life. He prepares me for things before I even know I need it. I simply sit in awe and wonder today. The story that follows is an example of His perfect hand in all things in my life.
A little over a month ago I was in a car accident. I consider it a miracle I walked away. The roads were slick and when I tapped the brakes for a curve in the road, my tires lost traction. I swerved and missed the oncoming car by probably inches. My top-heavy 4Runner had too much momentum and started to swerve off the road. As it started to turn over, something happened in those few blinking moments. I felt the car start to tilt and the first thought I had (having been in car accidents before) was “I think this one is it, Laura. You may not be walking away from this one.” and then I simply said, “God, please protect me.” He did. The car did a cartwheel; going first sideways, hitting the cement barrier and then going end over end. It landed upright on it’s wheels and as I sat there in the middle of the road I was just stunned. I couldn’t believe what had happened and also that I was okay. Not even a scratch on me. However, the car….well let’s just say Sandy (rest in peace) is in a better place with others like her.
At this part of the story, I should back up and rewind to that morning. In my quiet time I was reading in Luke 12 about the birds of the air whom He provides food for, how much more valuable are we than them? Of course He will fulfill the promises He has made and the seemingly bleak journey of raising funds for this trip. This anxiety had been building for a while and I felt very little assurance that He really remembered me more than the birds that morning. After my coffee and prayer, I went to sit with a friend who has been a miracle herself. Christie suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm and has come out on the other side still as beautiful and kind as she ever was, but now has a very terrible short term memory. She can’t be left alone for a while so her friends and family are taking shifts to watch over her. That morning, I had offered to help out. I won’t get into too much about that hard hour and a half, but let’s just say it still brings tears to my eyes. The prayers for her are endless. She doesn’t remember people and can’t remember why half her head is shaved and she feels like she’s in a hazy cloud. Every 5 minutes is brand new and she doesn’t understand why. We all have hope this is only for a period of time and that her memory and neuro status will return to 100% very soon! If you’re reading this, please pray for Christie.
I left her house that morning defeated and feeling like God was trying to torture me. I cried and prayed in my car and remembered the blog I was working on that day (Not Mine)…just like this trip is His, my life is His, so is Christie His. And He wants only good things for her like He does for you and me. And with that, the tears came slower and I could finally take a deep breath. I headed to guitar practice shortly after that and my friend who is teaching me prayed over Christie with me. In that prayer, he mentioned the same verse from Luke. God hugged me tight that morning, reminding me how precious I am to Him. So, an hour or so later when my car flipped and I sat in the cop car, upset and expressing my angst over what this wreck would do to me financially and with my upcoming trip around the world…guess what the cop said to me? Yep. Luke 12 again. I get chills thinking of how perfectly He was working everything together in my life leading up to that day. So much more than I can neatly fit in a blog.
Since the accident, every single penny that has been donated to my trip makes my heart jump. I feel like I am able to appreciate it all so much more than I ever would have had the wreck not happened. I keep seeing the money trickle in to support me on this journey to reach the “the least of these” and can’t deny that I AM the “least of these.” He is using me to reach people around the world, but He is also using people around me to reach my heart as well. To overwhelm me with His love and provision. A couple from church answered a huge prayer after the wreck and GAVE their car to me. Words will never be able to express my thanks to them. It’s been interesting how much support I have had around me all this time and didn’t realize to what capacity until this car accident.
We might think in instances like this that God finds us in our deepest need, but in fact we actually find Him in a deeper way through such needs. He answers our prayers exactly how He knows we need it, even if it might not be how we would imagine it. I found a deeper and more intimate relationship with God through all of this, and I know there is much more ahead.
When I think of all that He has brought together to bring me to the World Race, I think of a very commonly used verse: “He works together all things for good for those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom 8:28). That doesn’t mean everything will be sunshine and butterflies in our lives and nothing bad will ever happen to us. It means that something good can come out of every circumstance, even the seemingly bad. He wastes nothing. His only child died so He could bless us. That child, who was perfect and flawless and lived so perfectly well was the light we needed in our darkness. If He can bring such incredible goodness out of death, how much more can He do with our lives?!
Merry Christmas everyone. May His light and love reach you wherever you are.
