Did you ever used to watch Strong Bad Emails? They were a big hit in my high school youth group and we never lost an opportunity to watch them when we’d get together. At the end of every episode, Strong Bad always finished with his signature valediction:
“It’s Over!”
That is the phrase that has been echoing in my head these past two weeks. Squad leading is over, being with the squad on the field is over, and my time with Adventures in Missions is over.
Most of the time it’s a really nice feeling. I’m hanging out with friends, reading books, driving my car, cooking, and sleeping. The other day I sat in my parents’ Jacuzzi for two hours and didn’t even feel like there was something I should be doing. It was great.
But there are times when it’s hard. The squad is still out on the field, still learning and growing and processing and not being there just isn’t the same. As much as I want to continue to pour into each and every one of them from afar, it looks completely different from where I’m now sitting.
My last few days in Cambodia with the squad, I was frequently asked about how I felt about leaving. The best answer I could come up with was simply that it was time. I wasn’t asked to do the Race over again, I was asked to commit to five months so that I could establish the culture, walk out what it looks like to be a racer, and hand it off to the raised-up squad leaders so that they could carry it forward.
The squad is now on their own. They get to choose to continue to pursue honor, love, sacrifice, vulnerability, and honesty. They get to decide to be a men and women who are lead by the Spirit, who are sold out for a different kind of relationship with Jesus, and who influence every atmosphere they encounter.
Leaving wasn’t all that difficult when I realized that. It also got a lot easier after they threw Amanda and I into a freezing cold pool our last night with them.
Right now, I’m back in Colorado, enjoying some much needed rest. I’m only beginning to realize how exhausted and worn out I am from the last five months. I’ve entered into a hermit/hibernation state where I take a lot of hot showers (they’re glorious!), eat a lot of good food (it’s getting out of hand, really), and lay in bed and read for hours on end.
The Lord spoke clearly to me about two things concerning this season of transition. The first being that I am to wait on Him for His leading into the next step, whatever it may be. The second is that I am to pursue Him and prioritize my relationship and intimacy with Him.
So right now, that's my plan. I'm excited for what this time is going to bring and looking forward to this time of rest. It's good to be HOME!
I want to say a special THANK YOU to all my family, friends, and loved ones who have continually encouraged and supported me through these past months and years. I have not expressed my gratitude or my humble thanks nearly enough. I could not have done any of this without you! I am tremendously blessed by all of you!
