…rooftops are good… I like to be able to see everything… it makes me feel like I can hear You better. No one speaks to me way up here, because they are all busy down there. Sometimes, I guess like the time right now, I remember what it’s like to be a child… to recall what it was like to trust and not question, to not struggle with unbelief. I knew Who You were.
As I got older, I began to question everything, doubt happened. Time passed and I knew too much about You that I had no clue Who You were at all.
Belief got harder.
I ran away and waited for You to come find me. I learned later that You never left me. I didn’t believe, but You never left me. I sinned, You didn’t leave me. I deliberately turned my back, knowing that I had once believed, but still you didn’t leave me. I held someone else’s hand, but You never left. I found myself entranced by false beauty and selfish, perverted lust, but you didn’t leave me, You never turned Your face.
I was so comfortable in my own kingdom, that’s when You came, I was taken by great surprise. I wanted You, but I didn’t expect to see. I was so tired of sitting alone in the dark, but I couldn’t know where to place my feet.
Just when I thought it was over and I wouldn’t ever breathe again, suddenly, it happened…
I saw the crack in the door.
With my unused eyes, I saw something other than the dark.
Painfully, I opened the door. Light flooded all that life had become. I saw the sick and the ugly. Your beauty was more than I could take. In a hurry, I glanced around that dark life -now lit up-and even though it so badly hurt to walk towards You, I began to put one foot in front of the other as You beckoned me… I felt healing in every step.
Your peace came and washed off all the filth and blood from my skin making a puddle at my feet.
I saw my nakedness and I was ashamed, but Your kindness brushed my face to remind me that You were still there before me. I began to weep at the sight of so many wounds, so many bruises, so much stolen from the enemy for such a long time. I felt shame and repentance in my heart.
It was then that You lifted my head.
Out of Your very being, Your love began to seep into everything that I was. It felt like nothing but a quick wind at first, but then it became stronger than anything I had ever felt. It washed over me like a wave-so strong and so heavy. With it You began to heal my wounds. The deepest scars and all of the hurt, You began to sooth. I looked down as my past was forgotten. I remembered all of the hurt that sin had caused.
I was finally clean and Your joy came and clothed me in fresh white. Your gentle hands held my face as You looked into my eyes. You called me Your own. You called my by name… victorious. You called me beauty. You called me daughter. You called me new. You shut the door behind me and spoke freedom strong enough to break the chains around my ankles.
You took my hand, began to walk forward. That’s when I heard You say it… for the first time…
