As I approach the 2 week mark of time at home before leaving for the next 11 months I’m being met with a myriad of emotions. On one hand I am ecstatic about being back with my World Race family, all of the things we will experience and the places we will visit. On the other hand I am terrified about being completely vulnerable and in raw community with absolutely no alone time, the uncomfortable conditions we’re sure to experience and all of the pruning God will be doing in my life.
I cry at every outset in each conversation. I am grieving the loss of my life as I know it and the loss of literally every non sentimental belonging I owned. I am grieving the loss of my life I had planned and for the life I will be leaving behind. I will not spend Christmas with my family for the first time in my life. I will not be around to celebrate birthdays and call a friend for a quick chat. I will not be going on dates or enjoying massages. I will not be showering every day, putting on freshly dried clothes with a scent of bounce, or getting dressed to the nines for a night on the town. Those days are over, at least for the next year.
I am excitedly anticipating the various blessings that will be taking the place of those things. Showers in the rain, game nights with my community of fellow believers, and seeing God work in powerful ways I’ve never experienced. I want to see the lame walk and those with no sight be restored. I greedily want to be part of a revolution where spiritual darkness is destroyed by the light of Christ in 11 countries and beyond! I gladly give up my bed for a tent to see God restore me to the woman He created me to be. With painful surrender I give Him my all. I have been crying out for my God to use me as He so desires, and He is answering my prayer!
So, as I close this chapter of my life and prepare to start a new one, I am wrecked by this Jesus who loves me so! He loves me enough to allow me to endure suffering with Him so that I may inherit His riches. So the Laura you knew will be no more, by the grace and power of Christ. I’m going out of business and going into God’s business.
Philippians 1:29
“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.”
Philippians 3:7-8
“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
