Sarajevo, Bosnia & Herzegovina
It’s been a long time since you heard from me, hasn’t it?
The last time I wrote, my team and I were awestruck at God’s provision to us in a tiny town in Moldova… What happened next was that time hurtled past at an incredible rate, the end of the Race drawing ever nearer.
Month 11 landed my team in Bosnia & Herzegovina among the most wonderful group of missionaries. It was the perfect month to end on – our team worked well together and it was a joy to serve and work alongside our hosts. We got to work with folks from the States, the Netherlands, England, Germany, Russia, & Armenia. On our last night there, they prayed over each of us in what would turn out to be one of the most special moments on the Race.
Next, all 45 folks of B Squad gathered in Montenegro to spend our last few days of this incredible journey together. In two houses on the coast we worshipped, played games, and reminisced. Teams debriefed one last time with leadership. We made a trip to the grocery store, for one last time getting funny stares from the cashiers because we were buying out their whole stock of bananas. We sat in a long row on the stone wall, watching one last sunset over the sea.
(We also went a little crazy with some fireworks that night.)
Then, a whirlwind. A flight to JFK, goodbyes in the terminal, Thanksgiving in NYC, then back to Virginia with my family. And here I am.
I’ve found, upon coming home, that it’s just as hard for me to summarize the Race as it is for you to think of questions to ask. How on earth am I supposed to explain what just happened to me?
In an attempt to make some sense of the big picture, the other day I sat down and opened my journal – the one I started on Day 1 of the Race. As I skimmed through the first few pages, I just started laughing. Question after question that I had written, plea after plea that I recorded… God had responded to.
People, seriously, the difference is astonishing – do you want to know how I felt last January? Terrified. 2013 had been a rough year, leaving me discouraged, worn out, and defeated. And there I was, leaving everything familiar and comforting for a strange new life that had no prospect of friends or personal space, and every prospect of some horrible tropical parasite latching onto me.
But as it turns out, I found a family. Friends who would challenge and support me day after day. I found failure – sooooooo much failure – which in turn led me to grace and renewed strength.
Over and over I was put in situations where I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t have what it took, I didn’t know what to do… Over and over, I watched God step into that space and blow me away.
Me & some of my B-Squad family – photo credit Harris Richie
As a result of the family, conflicts, prayers, failures, and everything else the Race entailed, the end of 2014 found me in an entirely different place. I have a new stability. A new, more secure trust in God. A new passion for taking on what terrifies me. A new way of talking about God, about others, and about myself.
I know for many people it seems like I went on this exotic adventure and met God in a way that couldn’t have happened here. But it wasn’t important that I went overseas – anyone can travel. What was important was that I couldn’t hide from my fears anymore – I was facing them. I couldn’t rely on my own control – I had none.
And it was there – where I was terrified and out of my depth – that He was able to show me what kind of God He really is.
If there’s anything I want to tell you about my year, it’s that. So ask me for those stories.
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Another thing that happened over the course of this year is that I have new direction for my near future. And I have exciting news on that front – I can’t wait to tell you more about it, next time!
