She stood as if trying to make herself look as small as possible.
She was wearing all gray. Arms crossed, dark hair falling over half her face, shoulder leaning against the side of her stall. Gazing out at nothing in particular.
As we walked past, the bright colors of the yarn behind her caught our eye.
I approached her, pointed farther into her stall and asked in Russian, “Can I?”
Without looking at me, she stepped aside to let me scoot past her.
Ali, Stephanie, LeAnna & I were exploring the huge outdoor market and had just completed our grocery shopping. We’d arrived in Moldova the day before, and found this place right across the street from our house. There were stalls everywhere, spilling over with wares – vegetables, makeup, shoes, eggs…
Two languages are spoken in Moldova – Romanian and Russian. I’ve studied Russian, and I know at least enough to smoothly buy groceries. That first day in the market, the four of us were reveling in this experience of power and control we so rarely know on the World Race. We can communicate! They understand us! We understand them! We’re not totally helpless!
As Stephanie began inspecting yarns, I turned to the woman. “What’s your name?”
This time as I spoke she shot a glance at me, distrusting and annoyed. As if to say, “Why? Who wants to know?” But after a moment she complied and muttered her name.
I said, “Pleasure to meet you,” and backed off to run my fingers over the beautiful colors.
I’ve heard so many people remark how angry and cold Eastern-Europeans seem. And it’s true – if you walk down the street smiling at people you walk past, everyone thinks you look like a moron. Even this lady in the yarn shop thought I was absurd for making conversation.
Those icy expressions you see in the faces of these people did not set in all at once. They’re the product of years and years of betrayal, oppression, and war. The suffering that has happened in this area of the world is great.
It’s really no wonder everyone peers out from behind walls of suspicion and hostility.
As I twist a strand of wool between my fingers, I wonder how long it would take four obnoxiously friendly girls to melt the ice in the Moldovans we meet. How long before Christ’s joy in us shows itself stronger and more contagious than whatever cold stronghold stands here?
I turned back to our yarn lady and asked, “Do you like to knit?” She shook her head no. “Oh, I see. You just work here?” She nodded. And then – there it was. A little smile!
LeAnna had been flitting around at the front of the stall, carrying a bag of cookies she’d bought elsewhere in the market. Unable to wait quietly any longer, she bounced over and lifted the bag up to the lady’s nose, asking in her bright, bubbly voice, “Would you like a cookie??”
Ok, we definitely had a real smile now. But yarn lady shook her head. I continued translating. “LeAnna says she knows you waaannttt ooneee….”
Her gestures were shy and she was still standing timidly, but she didn’t stop smiling as she reached a hand into the bag for a cookie.
It’s amazing what simple eye contact can do. The power of looking right into someone’s face to let them know you see them and you’re listening. Letting them know they’re not just your source of eggs or oranges for the day. Asking their name, complimenting them on the way they’ve done their hair. And it’s amazing to see them light up in response to your smile, at the idea that you actually enjoy being with them.
We’ve since visited our yarn lady twice more. The first time, we brought her a doughnut – there was no hesitation as she broke into a big grin and accepted it. The second time, as we just stopped to say hello, she gave us each a pear.
Several people in that market know us now – the American girls who are excited to see them every day. And we love the prospect of continuing to love these market ladies all month long. Acting out in the world what Jesus has done for us:
No matter how invisible others make you feel, He sees you. He comes to you. He knows you. He listens to you. He cares for you. And the most important thing to Him in this moment is letting you know He loves you.
