I know it’s been a long time since you heard from me – thank you for your patience. First I want to mention that I made my financial deadline – THANK YOU all so much for praying and donating! I’m now working towards being fully funded by my last deadline, July 1st.
We are now in Nepal, in Kathmandu valley, in a small village area about 40mins outside the city of Kathmandu. We’re living and ministering with Team Braveheart this month, and it has already been so fun to have more of our friends with us. I’ll tell you more about Nepal soon – it is absolutely beautiful.
Today, however, I’d like to introduce you to a central part of World Race culture: Feedback.
It has entered our daily vocabulary, and has slowly become our new way of life. Prepare yourselves, because when your Racers return home, Feedback is coming with them.
We were first taught this concept at Training Camp. We were told that we’d set aside some time as a team every day on the Race to feedback each other. This could be either “positive feedback” or “constructive feedback.” Positive feedback would be a way of encouraging and affirming our teammates, pointing out good qualities in them that they may not have seen in themselves. Constructive feedback would be calling someone out, challenging them to live up to the potential you see in them. (For example, encouraging a quiet person to speak up more, or challenging a teammate to be more patient.)
(To most of us, the idea of feedbacking each other seemed simple, if a little hokey. For our resident ex-marine Dave, a time to “talk through our feelings” seemed downright ridiculous. When they had us try to practice Feedback at Training Camp, it was very clear that he was not happy to sit through the “kumbaya ankle-bracelet hippie circle.” But to his great credit, over the past 3 months Dave has since tackled it like a boss, and now has some of the most insightful feedback on our team.)
In the beginning, we were horrible at this. When you receive feedback, you’re not supposed to justify yourself or comment on the situation – you’re just supposed to say “thank you.” Then, later, you’re supposed to think/pray about what was said… and if the shoe fits, wear it. If not, let it go. But our feedback sessions teemed with excuses and explanations. There was also lots of venting frustration, instead of calmly addressing an issue. Thankfully we had our Squad Leader, Alys, with us that very first week… Needless to say, she had to give us a lot of feedback on our feedback.
Now, after applying ourselves to this every day for 3 months, we see there is no way we could function as a team without it. There’s also no other way we could grow into the people we want to be at the end of this Race. I actually feel more loved, knowing there are people who are committed to not letting me continue my shoddy behavior, and who know me well enough to affirm me when I need it.
Our most recent step in this learning process has been to start giving feedback in the moment, instead of waiting for team time. This “organic” or “instant” feedback has been better, but harder. It’s humbling to be admonished in the very moment you’re crossing the line… And it’s not only harder to receive feedback instantly, it’s harder to give. When you approach someone to tell them something they won’t want to hear, you’re being vulnerable – who knows how they’re going to take it? This step towards instant feedback is definitely stretching us.
(For some reason, the phrase “instant feedback” always makes me think of instant oatmeal. Which makes me hungry. Man, I miss real breakfast food…)
Feedback is a huge part of how we live for these 11 months. I guarantee you that your Racers will bring this new habit home with them. They’ll be much more bold about calling you out when you’re being an idiot, or when you’re not living up to the standard they know you can reach. They’ll also begin noticing and affirming things in you that you never saw in yourself before.
Now that we understand it, it seems like common sense – our whole lives should be lived like this. We should build each other up. We should be honest. We should openly address problems. But most of our relationships before the Race didn’t function like that – we had to learn. It’s no question that your Racers will return home having grown and changed for the better. So back home, when we take you aside to tell you some hard Feedback, don’t be offended. It’s us loving you. We’ve benefited from this for 11 months. Now we’re going to share it with you, because we know Feedback isn’t only healthy for Racers. You’ll see.
