Some of us were asked on an almost daily basis to go from house to house praying for people for hours at a time. After four or five of those days, I was done… spent… count me out. I felt like all I was doing was walking door to door and sitting on porches praying mundane prayers. The same prayer I prayed five minutes ago at the neighbor’s house. Just praying words… strictly because I was asked to. Finally, when I came to the end of myself, I asked the Lord what the deal was. Maybe I lack the desire to pray door to door because I lack belief? Maybe I think it’s pointless? If I really believed the Lord was capable and was hearing what I was praying and actually going to heal the people I was praying for… wouldn’t that change the way I prayed? Surely…
I want to be at a place where I believe that my prayers matter. I want the truths about who My Father is that I don’t know yet… I want them to be revealed to me. I want to know how much He loves me. I want to know that the words I am speaking aren’t my words, but they are the Spirit groaning inside me… and that they contain power.
There were a couple of times that I was praying for people that it wasn’t just words… that I was actually communicating with the Lord. In those times, its like I would get to a certain place and all of the sudden, I was done. I didn’t know what else to say, so a quick “Amen” is all that came out. After this happened a few times, the Lord reminded me of Romans 8:26. I was getting to a place where there were no words to speak… but because it’s a place I have never been, or never desired to go for that matter, my reflex was to retreat and be done. I am still trying to figure out what it looks like to NOT go with my natural instinct in those moments, but instead breaking through to the other side. I’ll let you know what I find when I get there.
