Last month, before going into Nepal I decided I wanted to fast from Makeup. Sure I go a few days at a time without it, but could I go longer? Could I let myself feel beautiful with God alone?
For 21 days I didn’t wear a drop of makeup. I usually wear it at least once a week on our day off. At first I was sick so it was easy at the beginning of the month.
No mascara, no eye shadow and no cover up. Nothing.
Trust me, I wanted to but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Eventually it did become difficult for me. Three weeks straight, and nothing to change my face with. Sometimes I have gone a week or two without it on the race, but there’s always the comfort that I can put it on at any moment. It’s funny how badly you want to wear it when you can’t. A few different times we went into town with the kids and touristy areas on our off days where I was tempted to put it on so I didn’t feel gross. Without makeup I feel blank. Bland. Plain. I feel ugly. But God created me perfect. I am still trying to understand why I have felt so gross all these years without it when he created me just the way he wants me. So I suffered, and worked through things within my heart…
I depend on make up to feel pretty.
When I’m not wearing it, I feel different. Disgusting.
People will still talk to me if I am not all done up. I worry they won’t if I look so plain.
My confidence is in God, not how pretty I look or feel.
I am beautiful just the way God made me.
These things I am learning may sound simple or silly, but to me it’s a huge step. A cage I am being freed from. At home I only feel pretty when my hair is straightened, and I’m wearing makeup.But that’s not when God finds me beautiful.
People love online chatting, or acting in plays, because they can pretend be someone different. People aren’t satisfied with who they are. I am not. Yet I want to be. I want to love who Christ created me to be. Make up is one way I escape. Trying to feel pretty. Beauty is much much more than putting on makeup though. A gentle spirit, joy, humbleness, an unending love. These things are considered beautiful in Gods eyes. Not something we decorate ourselves with.
Some days with lots of prayer I really did feel naturally beautiful with a fresh face, and some days I didn’t want to look in a mirror for fear I would cry. I discovered though that makeup doesn’t make me who I am, doesn’t complete me. Only God can do that. Make up changes nothing about who I am. Who is in my heart. Who I live for. It only changes my appearance. Accentuates how I look.
Imagine painting a spectacular picture, and then while admiring it, having someone come along and completely painting over it and changing your masterpiece . I wonder if that’s how God feels when we try to change how we look, or who he made us as.
So I challenge the women and girls I know out there to fast from make up for any amount of time, even a day, and find your true beauty in God. He created you and loves you just the way you are. Find your confidence in him, not by hiding or covering up your face.
You were created in His Image.
You were created beautiful.
