Its been about two months since I heard the call, since I ventured out on what I now like to call my love journey, since I entered into my role as co-laborer/laid-down lover, since He said, “Leave everything and follow ME.”
Maybe some of you thought I had already left everything to follow Him. I’ve been on the mission field for 9 months. I left my friends and family, all the comforts of home to live in less than ideal conditions, to wear the same 4 outfits for a year, to find out that it is indeed possible to sweat from your eyeballs, to endure freezing cold bucket showers and never really feel clean, to consume a whole lot of unidentifiable substances and experience the adverse affects they have on your digestive system, etc.
While these things did require some level of sacrifice, my physical discomfort is not the kind of sacrifice Jesus is looking for. You see, the truth is, leaving everything to follow Him is not about missions. It is not about selling everything you own and moving to Africa. When Jesus asks us to leave everything, it has little to do with physical location. Don’t get me wrong, maybe God is calling you to be an overseas missionary, but if so, I still contend that following him is not about being the standard perception of a missionary. Leaving everything to follow Him is a matter of the heart. It is about putting Jesus first and surrendering everything that is important to you–this doesn’t necessarily mean giving your belongings to the poor. Don’t worry! You can keep all your shoes (unless He tells you otherwise!) His heart in telling you to leave everything is that you would love Him enough to be fully yielded, that nothing would get in the way of you following Him.
I’m not going to lie, leaving everything isn’t easy. Quite honestly, when Jesus asked me to do so, it broke me. At the time, I didn’t understand God’s heart in asking me to surrender. There were even points when I felt angry that He would ask me to give up something so precious to me. My problem was that I thought by leaving everything, I was losing everything. But He showed me the opposite is true: His intentions aren’t to cause you pain. His desire is to bring you into a life of even greater healing and freedom. In giving everything away, you GAIN EVERYTHING. There is no loss, only GAIN. Because when JESUS becomes your EVERYTHING, when HE is your ONE and ONLY, you come to know complete satisfaction. When Jesus is your EVERYTHING, all else grows strangely dim. What was once your everything becomes dull and lifeless and HE becomes the ONE your heart longs for.
I have to warn you, though. Letting Him become your EVERYTHING is dangerous. It can cause you to do some pretty crazy things, because you’ll do anything for the ONE you LOVE. Complete satisfaction leads to complete dissatisfaction (what I’ve referred to as holy suffering in my poem below.) But also know that it is SO WORTH IT!!!
The culmination of holy suffering:
Cavernous voids yearning.
Expanses greater than water, earth, or sky
echoing utteral cries of longing.
Relief through inundation.
Swollen banks spilling over fallen streets
walked upon by unworthy feet.
Weight of glory bringing faces to ground.
Fully immersed in boundless waters
depth augmenting need
satisfaction increasing ache–
the beautifully endless pursuit
What about you? What is your everything? What is getting in the way of you following Him? If you don’t know, ask God to reveal areas in your life that need surrendering. Very often these things can be identified by reflecting on what occupies your thoughts most. Maybe it’s money or people (a lot of times this looks like people pleasing or putting someone you love before God [aka: idolatry]). Maybe it’s your physical possessions, your past hurts, plans for your future, or a combination of several of these things. Are you ready? Are you ready to give up everything to gain EVERYTHING? Are you ready to follow Him with all of your heart, to participate in the beautifully endless pursuit?
