There have been a lot of moments on The Race where I have been marked, where I knew I was never going to be the same. Encountering God will do that to you. As I’ve begun to actually live in the Spirit, these encounters are happening more and more. I can truly say that each day I wake up and feel the change. I am actively experiencing the life altering love of Jesus. It is what walking with God is about: accepting the gift that He gave and responding in a life of gratitude and surrender.
Yes, there have been many moments that have changed me, but yesterday—yesterday was one of those earth shaking encounters where the Holy Spirit takes over every part: mind, body, spirit.
It all began with something I’ve been praying a lot this month: “God, take me out of my mind and into your Spirit.”
I’m not asking God to make me crazy; I’m just asking Him to shut off my thoughts so that I can stop thinking long enough to come into His presence and allow Him to have His way in me, stripping me of any of my own intentions or expectations.
I spent the morning worshiping, dancing before The King. I was so overwhelmed by His glory as the Spirit took me higher and higher. After this time, I sat on my bed and started talking to the Lord about some things with which I had been struggling. I was asking for His guidance and direction.
He answered fairly quickly with: “It’s time.”
Obviously my next question was, “For what?”
“It’s time to let go.”
It couldn’t have been more clear what He was talking about because I had been talking to Him about some specific things that had happened that morning and the evening before. I knew a heart change was in order.
God showed me through the examination of those particular events that my life has been spent responding to people in a way that I thought would please them. After responding in such a way, I would end up feeling miserable because the choice wasn’t something that truly worked for me. Even if I made a decision for myself, I would still end up feeling miserable because I’d be so upset about not pleasing the people that were involved. SO, when God said it’s time to let go, I knew He meant I needed to surrender my motives and end my life as a people pleaser.
He led me to Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”…BOOM!
I’m halfway across the world, claiming to be a missionary, and I’m hit hard because I have not been serving Christ, I have been busy serving other people. Instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus and allowing the Spirit to guide me in my decisions, I have been looking to the right and left, allowing the opinions of others to rule my life, be my master.
And so yesterday..I let go. I let go of the desire and the striving to please people and decided to follow Jesus wherever He asks me to go, do whatever he asks me to do, even if that means upsetting some people along the way. I will follow Him no matter the cost. My eyes are fixed on Him; I am going forward serving Christ alone.
