I have officially started 3 blogs that ended unsuccessfully… well… unfinished. They each have very few words, starting an idea but never finishing it.
I have been telling myself I need to write a blog ever since I posted my training camp blogs. I have been trying, really, I have. But I just cant seem to do it and produce something worth sharing with you all.
These are the 3 “blogs” I have started… (but I am hesitant to even call them blogs”
1.
It is currently 12:54 pm and the amount I have cried today is ridiculous. It is crazy to think that in 14 short days, I will be in Atlanta, about to head to Ecuador with my 53 brothers and sisters. It is crazy to think that it has been 4 weeks since we got back from training camp. It is crazy to think that in 5 hours I will have a party to say goodbye to some of the most important people in my life.
This time between training camp and launch has been some of the hardest days of my life. They have been filled with lots and lots of tears, tons of work to keep my mind busy, and so much time to just rest with the Lord.
2.
One year ago. One year ago I was accepted to The World Race.
Four and a half weeks. Four and a half weeks since we got back from training camp.
Eleven days. Eleven days till I am in Atlanta, about to head to Ecuador.
Fifty-four people. Fifty-four people I get to travel, minister, do life with.
3.
It’s 11:22 in the morning, I am sitting at my new favorite café in Georgetown, and all that is going through my head is “7 days”.
1 week.
7 days.
168 hours.
10080 minutes.
604800 seconds.
So many people have said, “Oh, your journey begins in 7 days!” But that could not be farther from the truth. My journey, our journey, everyone’s journey began well before we were born.
I have already said goodbye to so many people whom I absolutely adore. I have attended wedding dress fittings for beautiful friends whose weddings I am not going to be able to attend. I have said goodbye to the incredibly joyful kiddos whom I babysit that have changed my life. I have attended dinners, lunches, breakfasts, and coffee with some of the ones I am going to miss the most.
As you can see, I like listing things, and I like times.
The only conclusion I have come to is that I can’t produce something to share with you how I am feeling because frankly, I have no freaking clue what I am feeling. I have cried every single day the last 2 weeks: tears of pure joy and excitement, tears of extreme exhaustion, and tears of utter sadness.
Even this blog, I have having a very hard time finishing it because I don’t know what to write.
Maybe this blog is a way to get some feeling out, but I think this blog is more of a plea… a plea for prayer. This is a really hard time right now, about to leave, saying goodbye. Some of my squad mates have already had to do it, and I commend them for making it through. They also give me so much hope that it is hard, but you can make it through.
These are some verses that have been really encouraging to me and helping me make it through this tough time. I hope if you are going through something hard right now, these can be a comfort to you as well.
“Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago… You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat.” Isaiah 25:1,4
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:27
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
I am praying for you sweet friend. Whatever you are going through right now, whatever season you are in, He will give you comfort.
