Back in Thailand God planted a seed inside my head that has transformed into something amazing. Reading through the Gospels and seeing what Jesus has called us to do and be I thought about what that might look like now almost 2000 years later.
Mat 10:39 The person who tries to preserve his life will lose it, but the person who loses his life for me will preserve it.
Mat 10:40 “The person who welcomes you welcomes me, and the person who welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.
These verses have stuck out to me this year. I’ve sought out a whole lot of time with the Lord over them and have really dug into them with Jesus trying to figure out what exactly it means. I believe that Jesus really wants us to die to our deepest desires. I think He wants us to be willing to give up anything that we can see, touch, feel, etc, to live the life He’s asked us to live…the life that seeks unity with Him and the Father. The kind of life that is willing to love any and all people to the fullest extent so that they can see Jesus’ love radiating through us.
While on the World Race I have experienced pieces of this lifestyle. In some rather small ways I have given up my own desires to meet the needs, wants, and desires of those around me and in some cases those I don’t know. But what has been even more radical and life changing for me is seeing people who have nothing, give me the best they had. Christians living in third world countries giving me their best food. People living literally in a garbage dump offering me the little “fresh” water they had. A woman taking me into “the home that God gave her” and literally singing praises at the top of her voice to God inside a small shack made out of four pieces of plywood… THESE are the people I want to be like. They are so thankful for what they have, yet at the same time are willing to give it away to a stranger that they love and honor. Let that sink in for a second…
After much prayer I feel like God has called me to a season of Asking The Lord (ATL) where I will venture across America and go from Church to Church and home to home seeking the heart of the American Christian. I can’t help but wonder what it will look like! Are Christians in one of the wealthiest countries in the world willing to give up the best they have to follow Jesus? Honestly, I’m scared of the answer. I’m not saything that they are not, but it’s a good possibility that most people aren’t willing to do that. IT’S A SCARY THING TO DO!
On the flip side of all of this I personally am terrified. I see how big this thing is. I feel the weight that has been put on my shoulders. In all honesty I realize that most people would expect me to come home off of this 11 month mission trip around the world and go back to school, get a job, a family, or settle down somewhere and start living the “American Dream.” I used to understand that, but now after I have seen all that I have I can never go back to my old life. My heart is wrecked and I can never pursue those things because I know of another world where people are living in insufficient homes, starving, and dying! A world where Jesus’ name isn’t a regular household name. I can’t live the rest of my life knowing that and not try to do something about it.
I’m also scared that God is going to let me down. I’ve seen God show up in many ways! Heck! I’ve even seen Him provide food, lodging, and every need that I have this past year for me personally! It’s amazing! I’m okay if God is telling me to do this ATL as a test too, to see if my hands are really open to it and if I’m willing to walk away if He asks me to. In fact that would be so much easier and releaving in some ways! I’m horrified that I’m going to get to some place in America and people not show up…that my fellow brothers and sisters won’t show up and do what God has asked them to do. I’m worried that lodging, food, transportation, and money that I need won’t come in.
Then again I’m also encouraged and excited because I do have that nervous fear. To me it means that there is room for more growth with my relationship with Jesus…more ways for Him to show me His love for me…more of Him. I’m excited at the thought of seeing other radical followers of my Jesus doing exactly what He asked of us…to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves! I’m excited to see people who get it! Who know who they are in Jesus!
Yeah I’m scared about this trip…but it’s so worth it. The price of what I’m giving up is so worth what God is going to do in His kids…what He is going to reveal.
Please pray for me during this time of transition as I end my World Race strong and begin a new chapter of my life. If you want to know more about my ATL click here or email me at [email protected].
