CHANGE
NEW PERSPECTIVE
LORDSHIP
TRANSITION
SELF SACRIFICE
DEATH
LIFE
JESUS
This past month God has turned my life upside down. I am a broken hot mess that is desperately on fire for Jesus. Through the Lord's blessing trials and my own errors I have seen growth in my life due to a impetuous act of seeking out the Lord and receiving sight through His love and gracious mercy. I have learned that throughout my life I have always put God as #2 (if He even reached it that high on my scale) and now am learning to give over my life in complete Lordship to Him.
This has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is also the most satisfying. Continuously He is showing and pointing out my errors and faults that have lead me to offend and come against Him. The theme verse He has given me this month has been Job 6:24 – "Teach me and I will be silent; show me how I have come against you." I have asked the Lord to search my heart and reveal to me how I come against Him on a daily basis and let me assure you I was quite surprised when He started showing me that my biggest problem was not committing adultery, lying, judging etc, but instead it was speaking my mind. I don't know about you, but I love to share my opinions and get my point across to people.
After realizing (or being shown rather) that I am such a hot mess the Lord directed me into a time alone with Him. I am still in this time alone with the Lord and am growing closer to Him every day in a very intimate way. He is preparing me for what He has for me to do in the future and while the destiny sounds great, the journey and preparation is very difficult. As I began to get quiet with Him one of the first things He told me to do was not to plan or hold any more fundraisers for the World Race unless He directed me to. – WHAT?! I have only raised around $2000 and have to come up with another $1500 in the next month! I have to admit I didn't like what God was telling me at first and right now I'm still having a sickish feeling in my gut about it, but if the Lord wants me to go on the trip He will provide the funds. This is going to be one crazy adventure!
A lot has happened these past few weeks and even more crazy radical God stories are just around the corner. But right now, for me I am perfectly okay with backing down off of my pulpit, giving God the reigns and letting Him take me where He wants me to go. This life is no longer mine to live the way I want to, but His for me to live the way He wants me to!
