Tomorrow morning my parents will drop me off in Atlanta and I will begin the next leg of my journey.
In the weeks between training camp I have learned humility in a new way. I want to thank everyone for every single dollar that was donated to my trip. Just as Jesus commended the widow’s donation of two copper coins in Mark, I want to express overwhelming gratitude and commend every single donation. So often I heard someone say, “I don’t have much…” before a donation, but those donations all counted for so much, and I hope that God blesses all of you for every cent.
I know that I will have to depend on God completely in the next eleven months. I can see that through the fundraising events that I organized. I tried to make a bowling and raffle fundraiser work and raised something like $300 between the two. Shortly after, a supporting church organized a spaghetti dinner for me and took care of the event in entirety. They raised around $1300.
I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t plan it. But God made it so.
My hours of effort for the other fundraisers paled in comparison to the spaghetti dinner, and I think that’s a good example of how my relationship with God will be. I want to try hard. I want to do well. However, my best is nothing compared to what God can do for me, and my best efforts to fix myself and others around me are tiny in comparison to Jesus’s death on the cross for us. He’ll take care of me (us) in ways I can’t imagine or anticipate.
I witnessed overwhelming generosity in ways other than donations though. I was showered with books and small gifts or trinkets, and in almost all of my “good-bye” lunches and visits I didn’t have to spend a dollar on food, and the love that was shown to me warmed my heart.
This was all very hard, as I’m the stubborn kind who won’t ask for help and will try to achieve everything by myself, and I confess that I feel very weak and incapable with the knowledge that so many people are helping me through this adventure, but I feel like that is one of the many things God intends to break in me this year.
During those lunches, and in many conversations from the past month, the questions I have received the most frequently are, “Are you nervous?” and “Are you excited?” The answers to both are yes.
The word “last” kept going through my head all week. Last time for this… Last time for seeing him… Last time driving here… It weighted very heavily on my heart, and put me in a perpetual mindset of needing a hug.
However! I understand that, circumstances permitting, most of those “last” statements aren’t true, but the idea of being away for 11 months feels very daunting and last-like. I think, however, that it’s important for me (well, this is important for others too) to consider this from an eternal perspective. 11 months is a drop of sand to eternity, so I’ll hardly be gone, on top of that, I’ll spend all of my time in Heaven with many of these people too!
That’s super encouraging, though a bit far off and hard to comprehend.
In the light of my nervousness though, eternity really takes some weight off of my shoulders, but doesn’t make it less intimidating. The work that we will do is for the Eternal Kingdom of God, and the lives of the people who accept Jesus will be saved. I have to keep that in the forefront of my mind and use it as a measuring stick for all of the decisions I make for the next 11 months, and for the years and years after that.
In summary:
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I can say with confidence that words are not powerful enough to properly express the gratitude I feel.
Yes. I’m nervous. Scared, even.
Yes. I’m excited. Thrilled.
In all things though, God is good, and he’s going to fulfill the work he began in me and take this sinner to the ends of the Earth for his glory. I hope you’re ready to follow along.
