Humble me
I prayed a prayer and asked God to humble me.
He spoke to me in a dream and said, "if you want it go after it. It's not that you have not been asking because you have. It's that you haven't been showing me that you want it."
As I lay in bed I thought, I need to show God with my actions that I want to be humbled. I need to put myself in the right position to be humbled.
We can ask all day for things from God, and sure he hears and listens and even gives. But if you really want something, you take action steps and I wasn't. Just like if you wanted a new car or wanted a girlfriend. You don't just ask and it shows up. You have to pursue her. Work for her. Show her that you care with your actions. ( I am talking about the girl not the car)
My first step of action, and the only one I really needed before it become a flowing river of humbleness, was getting on my knees.
A sign of humility, of servant hood. I am God's warrior and I am willing to die for him. I am a bondservant (meaning willing to be enslaved). Just as Paul talks about himself in Philippians and even how Jesus came to earth and was a bondservant to his Heavenly Father.
Every service I saw person after person before church, after church, during church, going to the front and spending time on their knees crying out to God. I knew that is what I needed to do.
I started to realize the reason why the Bible says God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. The proud don't think they need to repent of sin or need the Heavenly Father. They rely on their gifts and how God made them instead of relying only on God.
(Matthew 23:12) and whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted
People in ministry and just in life will be successful and even have some fruit from relying on their gifting, themselves, and a little bit of God. But they will run dry and burn out. The outlet that they are plugged into is not God, the everlasting battery.
I asked myself from a book I am reading, Panoramic Seer, just how sorry are we for our sins? Just how humble are we in the sight of The Lord?
I came to such a spot of a continual need of a reliance upon Jesus.
I came to such a spot of repentance and it brought me to my knees. Not just once, but it became and is a everyday thing.
To be humble and repent means you will have righteousness, peace, and joy. Righteousness means to be right before The Lord; coming to such a spot I can not do anything without God.
We humble ourselves for salvation, we humble ourselves in great need; but day to day walk, not so much.
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of The Lord and He will lift you up.
It's not just being humble – it's being more. It is being broken. We can be outwardly pious and inwardly arrogant.
Being broken means becoming like a wall being crushed and allowing the hand of God to rebuild you how He wants and he sees fit. He is the contractor.
It's not just a one-time thing, but a daily thing. 1 Corinthians 15:31 Paul died daily.
I am on my knees everyday relying on The Lord and being his workmanship, his weapon, his instrument.
The one thing that humbled me more then anything this month was one of the days at the mountain church.
About a 2 hour ride up to the mountains. Had to get out of the van to help push it up the hill. It was a beautiful view at the top. One could see for miles. We were building a church and we had to mix concrete (we are professional mixers now). We had to go get water, so I volunteered to go with the pastor and one of the neighbors, Jose. I thought we would walk just down the road. We did, then we took a left down this path. Down the mountain. We walked all the way to the bottom – over a mile. Then, filled up the jugs with water from the well. As we sat there, a girl came walking up about 16 yrs old. She washed her clothes, then filled up the 5 gallon paint bucket with water, put it on top of her head, and walked up this mountain. ( I mean this mountain was steep, slippery, not a easy walk. Not to mention the water, I fell once) We put these huge 70 pound jugs on our shoulders and walked up the hill. Every step I was humbled and kept thinking, I can't believe this women does this everyday. For laundry, drinking water and water. Back home in the states I walk into the kitchen and turn on the sink.
I will never take water for granted. For drinking, washing, and showers. I was truly HUMBLED. I never got a picture of the girl walking away (wish I did) but the picture is always engraved in my mind.
