Maybe that is a little bit of an exageration. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic. I don’t really have anything to complain about other than my personal thoughts and feelings. Our contact here is great, our ministry has been very fruitful, I am not having any rifts between my teammates. So on the surface things should be going great, but I feel lousy. I have lost a joy and a peace that seemed to be with me our first couple of months on the race. I know that our feelings can blind us and cannot be trusted. I know truth is still truth no matter what temporary thoughts might run through my mind. I am still acting out of obedience. I’ve participated in ministry everyday and put on a fake smile for those we’ve come in contact with. It is tough to tell others that Jesus brings peace when I don’t feel at peace.
I wish I could just put an end to this, I’ve prayed for God to make that happen. I’m generally not patient enough to let God have 5 minutes of my time, so its certainly been a challenge to wait for him for over a week. I can’t imagine wandering in a desert for 40 years. I have to believe he will teach me something through this experience. I know there are many verses about suffering, persecution, and perseverence. All these tough times can ultimately bring us closer to God, the Word of God says this, and I trust that. The one tough thing is that I feel I’m bringing a lot of this on myself. I don’t have any outward persecution or physical suffering, so I’m just not sure where I stand in this growing closer to God part. Looks like I’ll be waiting for that answer.
Sorry this blog has been depressing, I’ve just wanted to be honest. Here is what has been going on. We’ve been going out doing field ministry in the slums every morning with the exception of Thursday. This time has given us many opportunities to share the gospel, which is certainly exciting but in my current state is very challenging. Many people we talk to are joining us for our prayer service at 1 pm everyday, we are also praying on the spot for many people we meet. We have been able to teach at the schools on Monday and Wednesday morning. Wednesday was pretty cool. I shared about Jesus taking away our fear of death. Pastor Joseph encouraged me to give an altar call, and about 15 kids raised their hands and wanted to accept Jesus. It was a crazy time because the teacher was rushing us out the door, but I taught them the sinners prayer and encouraged them to contact Joseph with any questions. I hope God sustains those new children of his.
Of course please continue to pray for our team and ministry. Pray that God will show himself to me through this difficult time. Also pray for me as I am scheduled to preach sunday morning. I have confidence I will be able to do this, but this is my first time preaching, so just for that fact please be praying. Thanks for your prayers.
