I cannot believe it has been almost a month since I last wrote. I apologize! Time has been flying by and it never ceases to amaze me! There are only 45 days until I leave and I know they will pass by at an ever-rapid pace. I am continually blessed by the gifts, prayers, and words of encouragement from people as I share this mission with them.
As I spent last weekend with some of my squad mates in Ft. Worth, I was reminded of how much God has brought me through. As we were able to get to know each other better and I shared stories of my past, I honestly felt like I was talking about someone else. A completely different individual. Although my relationship with Jesus only started 2.5 years ago, my past feels so far removed that I was constantly shocked as I shared memories from it.
The Bible talks about sharing our testimony and the power it has. After Jesus healed and people wanted to follow Him, he often sent them back to their hometown instead to share what He had done for them. These scriptures are just a couple that stuck out to me:
Mark 5:19
And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”
Psalm 107:1-2
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.
I always simply thought that scripture was referring to the importance of sharing our testimonies with non-believers because it would help them to relate and see that it is possible to be redeemed no matter what their past looks like. I never fully understood the importance of sharing our testimony even with other believers because it also reminds them and gives an example of what someone has come from and that God still loves, forgives and uses us despite those things of our past. Yes, it is important to share our testimony so that other people will see what God has done and the ways He has changed each of us. But I think we often forget how desperately WE need to hear it ourselves.
I can’t even begin to count the numerous times that I have been blessed by someone, healed from something or come to a stark realization of truth and hours later am stuck in a rut of worry or doubt over something else. I think this is such a great reminder of how forgetful we are & how quickly the enemy comes to steal and destroy. Just like it says in Romans 10:17; “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”, we must speak our testimonies out loud so that the truth of what God has done for us is moved from head knowledge to heart knowledge! That is also why it is so important that we read the Bible and the truth straight from God because that is how our faith is increased and we are able to truly be touched in our hearts by it. If all we do is hear the word through podcasts or sermons at church once a week, we aren’t really letting that truth sink deep and touch us by reading the words with our own eyes. Words have power and the majority of people don’t understand that concept. Proverbs 18:21 is one of my FAVORITE verses, and the Message translation puts it so clearly: “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”
When I heard other translations, it didn’t strike my heart as hard. But when I first read this verse in the Message version it hit me like a freight train. Not only is “kill” a strong word, so is “poison”. We all know what it means to kill someone. We also know what it means to poison someone. These words have so much more power to me than just saying “death”. The word “kill” brings up stronger emotions as I think of physically murdering someone. This is saying that your words CAN KILL someone. They CAN POISON someone. Think about that. Does that not make you more aware of the power of your words?? Aside from that, the last phrase pierced my heart like a sword… YOU CHOOSE. Not only can your words kill or give life to someone… it is YOUR choice how you use them. WHOA!
So not only is it important for us to share our stories with people who don’t know Jesus so that the Holy Spirit can work on their hearts and plant seeds of truth there, it is equally important for us to share our testimony with fellow believers so that they can be affirmed in the work God can do in a person as well as our OWN ears hearing it to be reminded of where we came from! OUR TESTIMONY GIVES LIFE.
Often times, thoughts creep into my mind about my past that are condemning, bringing guilt and shame and feelings that make me feel so low. It is a constant battle in my mind to remember that I am no longer those things any more! If we let our past haunt us, we will never be able to move forward! I have struggled with this for years and although my past doesn’t have as strong a grip on me anymore, there are times where I look at what lies ahead and feel so unworthy. But Christ has called me. He has deemed me as worthy and able to do this mission. Not in my own strength, but through Him who gives me strength, I can give up all I know here in little ole’ Texas to follow Him into the great unknown to foreign lands. I cannot fundraise on my own. I cannot navigate unknown territory on my own. I cannot change lives on my own. It is Christ through me who will do all these things. All I am required to be is a willing vessel. Someone who says “Yes, Lord. Here I am. Send me. Use me. Speak through me.” And that is exactly what I have done.
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.” — John Newton
Some of my squad mates that got together last weekend!
(Left to Right: Jess, Bryce, Chelsea, Me, Kris)
