WOW! Time flies so fast! I cannot believe that September is almost over already! I also do not feel like it has been almost a full 3 months since I was accepted for the World Race!
Well I just want to first say a huge thank you to every single person who donated items, helped sort, organize, set up and execute both of my garage sales and to those who even came by! Between the sale I had 2 weeks ago and the one I had yesterday, we raised just about $2,000!!!
I was so overwhelmed by and thankful for the amount of donations that came in and the loving hearts that gave of their time and energy to help me with both of the sales!
For the past several weeks, I have been feeling extremely exhausted!! Not only have I been busy trying to fundraise for this trip, working full time and keeping up with everything going on, I have been battling this auto-immune disorder called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Basically my body is creating antibodies that are attacking my thyroid as a foreign invader! I have had ups and downs between having energy and feeling like I need to sleep for whole days. Amongst everything else going on this has left me strung thin, and very tired.
BUT
God is faithful! He has continued to give me stamina to make it through hectic days at work, hard phone calls and changing schedules. He has given me strength to fight negative, depressive and defeating thoughts that swirl in my mind and try to drown me. He has given me hope to keep pushing forward and pressing into the promises He has made. He has given me encouragement through my squad mates and the amazing family bond that has already been formed. He has given me LIFE and BREATH each day which above all else is a blessing. He has given me love and mercy when I try to do things on my own and cut Him out of my plans. He has given me the Holy Spirit who speaks life and truth into each and every situation, especially those that seek to destroy me and make me give up.
God has given me each and every thing I need to make it through each waking hour of every day. Apart from Him I can do nothing. Period. No matter how smart I think I am. No matter how strong I think I am. No matter how well put together I look. If it weren’t for Him, I would be in a deep, dark, ugly place right now… secluded from everything and everyone.
But I CHOOSE to keep fighting.
I CHOOSE to not let those circumstances destroy me and everything that God has brought me through.
I CHOOSE to believe that this is not a permanent state of being, but a necessary season in my walk with Him.
I CHOOSE to cry out for help.
I CHOOSE to ask for prayers.
I CHOOSE each and every day that He is worth more than anything else that I could put my hope in.
I CHOOSE to die to my selfish desires and allow His will to become priority.
His plans and timing have ALWAYS proven better than mine and no matter how many times I fall, I will continue to get back up and fight because the Spirit of the Living God lives inside of me! He has given me the power and authority to rebuke anything that comes to destroy me. He has given me the power to take my thoughts captive and turn my negativity into optimism and by faith, believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I must remember at all times that each storm is a chance to grow, be refined and be strengthened in my faith. With each negative circumstance, I am growing stronger because I am learning to lean on and depend on God even more. I am strengthening my faith muscles. 100% trust and faith does not just appear the moment you surrender your life to Christ. It takes time and actually going through rough situations to truly understand what it means to depend on God fully, through every single circumstance.
Not only am I called to walk with Him intimately, I am also called to die to my own desires so that His might become prevalent in my heart and bear fruit in my life. This doesn’t necessarily mean to give up all of our dreams, it means to simply hand them over to Him and trust that the ones that are meant to happen will come true and in the perfect timing.
Sometimes God doesn’t calm the storm swirling around us,
He simply uses the storm to calm us.
Our reaction to each obstacle is a heart check to see where our trust truly lies. I have failed at this time and time again, but I know that each time I gain more trust in the Lord and what He has planned for me!
There is a song by Casting Crowns that perfectly speaks to this season of life for me and the chorus hits the heart of what we are called to do:
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
No matter if we FEEL down or want to just throw a pity party, PRAISE is the best way to receive breakthrough in the hardest of times!
James 1:12-15
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
