As the rain fell, so did my heart. 

It down poured for 3 days and with every drop my heart sank even more. 

I was being shaken and pulled at a rate that I wasn’t expecting.

“God what are you doing, because honestly I’m not sure if I can handle it”

“You can’t on your own beloved, but I am here to help you”

He was taking my heart for a ride and whether I liked it or not I was going.

He promised me that I would be ok and that His faithfulness would shine at the end.

He promised that He would love me through all of it and that He would not stop speaking.

He promised that I would gain understanding.

He promised He would not leave me nor forsake me, that I was His forever.

He wanted me to find myself in Him again. 

To find my comfort and peace in His hands.

To find confidence through His word.

“I am who I say I am. I am the same yesterday, today and forever”

I found myself stuck with Him and only Him and I had no other choice but to be present.

But where did this sudden stretch come from?

What was going on and why did it have to be now?

Why at the beginning of month 7, in the middle of a tropical storm, did He decide to shake me up?

I will never know the answer to those questions, but what I do know is this..

His love is perfect

He will move me when He wants and how He wants

Nothing will stand in the way of His love

He is enough

In His presence I can find rest

These are truths that I knew before these past 3 days, but they just became real

God thank you that you love me enough to push me into places I don’t want to be

God thank you that you are perfect

God thank you that no matter what I can always trust you

That I can always find hope in you

Pappa I love you

Daddy I am in awe of you

I know that through this time that something in my heart has changed

I no longer look at Him as a big man that I claim loves me

But He is my Daddy, He is Pappa, He is Abba Father. 

He is love

He is my closest friend

He is my King

He is the lover of my soul

He is and always will be my First Love