Nicaragua has been the hardest month of the race for me thus far. Yes I realize that I am only three months in but it was intense. Ministry was challanging because it was full of things out of my comfort zone. Personally God was breaking me and leading me to a new place of brokenness that I am just begining to understand.
Ministry was full of PRAYER and lots of it. I am not a prayer warrior but I do like praying to my Father. We would go on three hour prayer walks for the community and the church we worked with. I found it difficult to focus and pray that long. I did learn by the end of the month that as long as I talked to God and let hime guide me it was good. We also went into hospitals to pray for sick people. I HATE hospitals! It was frustrating to me but I learned to see the people we prayed with as God saw them. I saw them through the sickness and saw the creation God blessed the world with by giving them life. It was challanging to say the least but the eternal reward I recieved for it outweighed my doubts and fears.
Personally I was working through my identity. I was defining who I was according to my Father. I realized that I acted differently depending who I was with. I have done this for so long I lost who I was. I have been the quietest I have ever been in my life on the World Race. I have acted almost like a shy person. I know that this surprises the majority of people that know me. People that often would have to remind me to use my inside voice. This has brought me to a new place of brokenness. A place where God is in charge and will rebuilt me. I know that greatness is comming and I can not wait to see what it will look like. I'm still figuring this out but it will be amazing.
So Nicaragua was a great time of self reflection and growth. It was going out of my comfort zone nearly every day. It was God growing me and remolding me. Some days it sucked and those days I cried but that brought healing and rejuvination.
