Overflowing Infinite Love
I thought going on the race that I knew what it meant. I knew what it was like to have overflowing infinite love but as time progresses I realize that I didn’t have a clue. I mean I wanted it and my heart was in the right place but I hadn’t arrived yet.
After many arguments with God about my team I accepted his knowledge being greater than mine and trusted him to have placed me on the right team. My flesh cried out even to the point of me possibly not going on the race. My heart cried out to my God and Savior to lead me and I trusted what he wanted for my life. I knew I was going to be ok. I knew I had to trust God in order to live completely for him. I knew that I had to outlive my flesh.
My first month was great and I loved it but it wasn’t until this month that my flesh died to my spirit and I walked into the goodness that was waiting patiently for me. I truly walked into the light of my savior. I surrendered it all. My ministry site was an orphanage for special needs kids. My heart sang I love this population. I received my undergraduate in Special Education and taught for four years. It was like a coming home for me. From the moment we arrived my love for these kids grew. Every laugh, every smile, every shout of joy warmed my heart and it grew, and it grew. When they cried my spirit sank to just love them more. More that I didn’t know could be possible.
Today I took two of the girls Helen and Andrea out for ice cream with two of my teammates. It was an amazing adventure full of love and joy. These kids rarely get individual attention and outings so they were excited. Riding in the tuk tuk with Helen in my lap and Andrea hanging on me was thrilling. Hearing Helen’s laughter and excitement filled my heart. Sitting in a mall eating ice cream was so fun. We got many looks as kids with special needs here don’t really go out and definitely, not with three gringas. We took them to ride one of those mall ambulance things and they were in heaven. The joy that spread on their faces filled my heart to the brim. We shared fries with them and they were so excited. It was funny to watch them try to steal fries from each other but there was that genuine sibling love between them. On the tuk tuk on the ride home. Helen was just so happy and so was Andrea. I told Helen that I loved her and she squeezed in closer to my lap, rested her head on my shoulder, looked deep into my eyes and that was it for me… My heart overflowed and I realized that my love for the world is infinite. It’s eternal and never ending. Just as the Father has such love for me so do I for his people and kingdom. I never thought two beautiful girls with special needs could teach me love in a new way but they have and I’m never going back.
top left: Helen and Andrea enjoying the ride, top right:Mary and I with the girls
bottom left: Me and Mary with Helen, bottom right: Me, Andrea and Courtney
