Well I went to Hopkinsville today and God dealt with me with the problem that i’ve been avoiding for years! The realtionship I have with my father! I don’t really want to go into detail about everything, but my parents divorced when I was 9 and my realtionship with my father hasn’t been the same since. I really haven’t had one, i’ve always tried to get approval from him and wanted him to be proud! Only to never have that!
Relationship after relationship i’ve looked for that void in my life…if only I had my father by my side the whole time I think things would had been different. I probably wouldn’t had been used by the umpteen men in my life. But…God has been there the whole time to pick me up and carry me along. He’s always had a plan for me!
I really fell that if I don’t get it right with my father then things will never work out with my future… my future family…my kids….etc…
When i choose to go on this race I heard that he didn’t have anything to say really about it. I’m praying that one day he will be Proud of me!
I read this blog today ( http://mikeschuerman.theworldrace.org/?filename=god-is-a-redeemer ) today and tears flowed down my face as i could relate to the story….my dad used to hold me in his lap and rub behind my ears and say “you still feel new” i was his lil girl! My nickname was Tinkerbell b/c i was tiny and small at one time..ha… and He used to take me to work and show me off to his co-workers, and let me play with the time clock…those were the fun times! I don’t know what or where it all went wrong but I’m praying that one day it will all be different before it’s too late!
My dad came to my birthday party this past week. That was the first time EVER that him and my mom attended a function at the same place since the divorce. I’m praying that things will change with my dad and i and that one day we can have a healthy relationship! With God ALL things are possible and Prayer changes things!
