I remember the day that I packed my pack for the first time. It happened on my bed at home in Alabama with my friend Bethany and if I did it by myself, it would have ended in tears. I plead the 5th of whether tears came after Bethany was gone.
I was frustrated. That pack that looked so big in the days prior seemed so small. The room I thought I had was not there anymore. And that daggum sleeping bag seemingly took up half of the pack. Bethany assured me that I was a minimalist and that I really didn’t have too much stuff.
Then I got to launch. I looked through my stuff and sent some things home with my dad. I put those things that were on “every list” back in a bag that would be making its way to Maryland and not around the world. I remember the feeling of dread when I knew that those things were not making the cut. I thought that the whole getting rid of things was over there.
Then, we got to Ecuador. The Lord did incredible things in my heart in Ecuador. And a lot of them had to do with my stuff. The fact that I had downsized my closet by about 99% over the course of the few previous months wasn’t enough. And the Lord said that clearly to me. He told me that He had more for me than my stuff, and more for my heart. He reminded me that I came on the World Race to lose myself and to find Him.
I thought I could ignore God about this matter (and keep my stuff that was in my pack). But, He made it evidently clear that I couldn’t. Over the course of our month in Peru, the Lord reminded me literally every day that this month wouldn’t end without my obedience. Somehow, I was reminded every day “To obey is better than to sacrifice.” That getting rid of things out of my pack was an act of obedience and not an act of sacrifice. I told my squad leader Kaylalynn that I needed to get rid of things out of my pack before we left this country. That accountability was want I needed to keep up my end of the bargain.
Then I clearly heard the Lord ask me a question that seemed very easy, but was oh so difficult. “Do you trust me?” The conversation that Kaylalynn and I had was about trust too. Can you trust God to provide you deodorant for you in a foreign country? Can you trust the fact that He is a good Dad who wants to provide good things for his daughter? And the issue of your stuff isn’t a matter of your stuff but a matter of your heart?
What things are happening in your life that are seemingly a matter of a physical thing that are actually an issue of your heart? Do you trust that God will provide good things for you? Or are you more like me, fiercely independent and have to learn lessons about God’s trust through a different means?
Til He Comes,
Kristy
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