So I allowed God to speak to my heart and reveal myself to me. I felt as though I hadn't done enough good to deserve the kind of goodness and happiness that God provided. I was sabotaging myself and believing the lies that satan cunningly and carefully whispered to me over the years. With this attitude, no amount of good that I did would ever mean much in God's kingdom because it wouldn't be coming from a place of pure and genuine love, service, and worship. It was coming from a place of trying to buy my way into God's good graces. It was also keeping me from moving to higher heights in him and experiencing the close relationship that I longed for. God wanted me to rest in His love and truth, and I wouldn't sit still long enough receive it.
God showed me that I didn't have to work for my freedom. He wants to free me from feeling like a slave. He wants me to realize that I am a co-heir with Jesus Christ and there is nothing I can do to earn or un-earn that title. Simply put, it's just who I am. I am royalty and that's why I deserve the best. I am God's child, and that's why I am good enough. There is no test to take and no score to obtain in order to win the prize of salvation. It was available to me before I even asked for it. But not just me … this is true for everyone.
God wants me to serve others because THEY deserve to be treated like royalty also, simply because they are His children. That is how God sees all of us. When He looks down on all of creation, He smiles on us because we are a treasure, not because we did a certain amount of good today. I had to believe and know this for myself. This was the only way that I would allow others to show love and respect towards me, and it was the only way that I could share pure love and respect and honor to others. It was the only way that I would see other people the way God saw them, rather than based on their deeds.
So I no longer use serving others as tokens to add to my bank of good deeds hoping that some day it will be enough to repay the price that Jesus paid for me. I will never have enough to repay that debt because I am worth waaaaaaaay too much. I am favored. Favor isn't fair. I'm worthy to receive love, life, new cars, and endless favors. I deserve to allow others to go out of their way to do nice things for me, if they desire to. I've demolished the devil's lie that I have to work for good things from my Father, and I've replaced it with the truth that I am worthy of every ounce of love and goodness that I receive!
